Beth has her bike, and long afternoons
Cinema Fridays, and young lover's balloons
Taller than mommy, but shorter than dad
She's hipper than both, and up on the fads.
There is dinner to make, and homework to do,
Bad memories of last year, and all she went through
But she never lost faith, or the love in her heart
When death threatened to rip Beth's family apart.
Down to the Sea
Down to the shore
Blaze Wilde and up
Child, explore
Ask the night
It will teach you
Ask the night Beth, it knows
Calling you out to see you
and how your body grows.
Smiling came easy, when dolphins still sang
Girlfriends slept over, and warm morning rain
But blood changes everything, forces tomorrow
Beth is tasting the future and feeling its sorrow.
Girls love their daddies, and that is expected
To make them feel special, funny, protected
Sometimes it is different, Sometimes it's reversed
Life can be tragic, switching roles unrehearsed.
Down to the Sea
Down to the shore
Blaze Wilde and up
Child, implore
Ask the night
It will teach you
Ask the night Beth, it knows
Calling you out to see you
and how your body, it grows.
Your hair it will thicken
Your breasts they will fill
Forever you'll hearken
as a little girl still
To the Sea, to your father
To the men you will know
And the love you'll be given
From above and below.
Beth has her bike, and long afternoons
Cinema Fridays, and young lover's balloons
Taller than mommy, but shorter than dad
Beth's love is worth having,
It's what we all had.
Author notes
For a nurse I know, and her daughter Beth.
Written March 28th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- your author page by idontno.
300 points, ended December 2, 2004, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
-
Your Poetry Rocks! it is all so damn awesome and You convey emotion very very well.' Great rhythm and rhyme
-
Hey this was good.. i exected a different sort of piece on entering and on reading.. felt a whole change.. well written.. good work.. good luck and write more
-
beth loves meth!
-
Jeremi, this is very touching, and I know how much this will mean to both of them. Its something she can keep forever - and never tire of reading.
becky
-
I am such a sucker for this type of poetry, especially odes that includes this-
Your hair it will thicken
Your breasts they will fill
Forever you'll hearken
as a little girl still
To the Sea, to your father
To the men you will know
And the love you'll be given
From above and below.
I just loved reading this
david -
Wow, reading this poem brought back lots of memories. There's so many parts of this poem that remind me of well.. me! lol. Just the little things I guess. Like being taller than my mom and shorter than my dad. I guess that's kind of stupid. But this stanza: There is dinner to make, and homework to do,
Bad memories of last year, and all she went through
But she never lost faith, or the love in her heart
When death threatened to rip Beth's family apart.
That is what really got me thinking. I had major surgery in January and almost died. So thinking about "this past year and all I went through and how death threatened to rip my family apart" this was just really out there. You've got great talent at writing. This deserves an applause. -
Now this is really a beautiful write. I love the flow of most of it, and it sings with the ocean breeze. I am sure the ones whom you wrote this for is very pleased and warmly touched by this wondrous piece. I sincerely enjoyed this.
Sam
-
welll this is a very sad and upsetting pome but it is very good and i like it now i will look at your page well done and good luck and thanks
much love
~SARA~
-
This was SO amazing. Not many poems have that effect on me anymore I congradulate you. This was realy wonderful, I don't have a critique for this. I made a word using the first letters of words such as awesome, brilliant etc etc and that was for a poet who I seemed to leave paragraphs for everytime and want to shorten it for them, the word Sabiggab, and this was defintely worthy of the word. Contiue the writes this was inspiring. LoveEssence
-
i very much enjoyed this. good luck with the contest. It is very sweet of you to write this for someone.
take care
sarah -
My Dear,
This is really beautiful! I always find some joy in your writings and this flowed so well and it was very encouraging... a good heart you have sweetheart.
Thank you for this, I will share it with Elise, I am sure that she will enjoy it also, plus there is a good lesson in it for her. My darling just needs to learn to love herself... there is power in understanding and loving yourself.
Thank you.
Criss -
Gorgeous, horus. I really enjoyed this.
-
very beautiful and elegantly touching poem.
it exhibits a grace of spirit than sometimes hides
behind a pride of talent... if that makes any sense.
"Smiling came easy, when dolphins still sang
Girlfriends slept over, and warm morning rain..."
that, horus, is outstanding poetry!
the opening and closing stanzas are just excellent!
a really well done piece of writing. -
oh this is so lovely for Beth..
Beautiful throughout.
I am sure Beth loved it.
Just perfect.
Ann -
This is a very nice write with a nice uplifting feeling coming from reading it. It sounded like you were speaking of the innocence of a child and the love that a child has for people, especially their parents. this left me thinking and somewhat smiling, and yet wondering what exactly YOU meant in this. Anyways, a great write.
~Konstantine -
Awww the fact that you wrote this for a nursey makes this all the more lovely! In fear of being repetative of the other comments this is just fabulously comforting
Great stuff
Hayley x x -
Just popped by nephew
to read this again.. it surely warms this ole' heart.. thankyou again 
-
this was really fantastic. i would like to hear this put to some music. i think it would be a very good song. i really dont know what to say, it was THAT good. well done
~mikki -
Hmm. I'm not too sure how to respond to this piece. It definitely made me think, but, I don't know. I'll ruminate, maybe get some brilliant insight. Hmm.
Elle -
Amazing
Wow. Very magical piece. Like an oblivious present that yoiu drift through and love but it fades away so quickly. Written very well. Repetition of those lines made the piece complete and fuller as the background fit perfectly. Great write. I love it. -
Yes, a chant. Enchanting chant, if you'll forgive me.
-
You are welcome.
-
You described the innocence and beauty of a growing woman so well in this. It sounded like something I should be hearing on the radio. Your rhyming and meter were right on throughout.
-
Thank you for writting a poem on me i realy really love it
Beth
Edited on Mar 28, 2:05 p.m. because ''. -
the fourth verse is a little scary...maybe it's just me. Well written - i liked the 'chorus' part especially.
-
this is really kind of sad, but real. Very nice I liked the ballad feel this has with the short chorus. You put this together nicely. It is a lovely tribute to the young lady.
-
interesting
I would pretty much like to hear that song.
The chorus is very well worded, I enjoyed reading it! -
This a wonderful poem other than that i.m lost for words Great Write Jacqui
-
Very nice..I know Beth, and I have to say this fits her quite well..and a very nice tribute to both her and her mother
-
Its very good anology of a little girl growing up. Excellent lyrics.Saddie23
Edited on Mar 28, 8:23 because ''. -
nice.
-
excellent+
This was superb , it had almost a haunting quality to it as if in a chant or something . Your words seemed to pay hommage to a young girl's rite of passage into young womanhood , and you did it with such insight and softness . Truly worthy of a read and applause
Reenie
-
I love poetry that rhymes, and your repeated stanzas made it like a song. This was really ... hmm, i dont know the word. But i will add it when i think of it!
Great work!!
Ging -
I like the rhymes used in here a lot. It all fits together nicely. Great job and keep ur work up.
~yours truely~ -
excellent
Aww i loved this poem, an excellent write!! i enjoyed reading this its very emotional, carry on writing
XxX -
I don't get it...what does "for Horus8" and "By Horus8" mean...what's the difference?
-
excellent
Horus I worship you! I love your writing style everytime I see something new I am in awe.
-Jacquie -
Interesting read Had a wonderful song-like quality and an original point of focus.
-
Oh my dear Jeremi.. I am crying to much to comment yet..properly.. but I will do soon.. it is beautiful and she will love it, especially with her birthday looming up in April, my girl is growing up so fast.. Thanks again my friend
~GILLY~xxx
Adding your comment:
1 - 39 of 39
10 old applause
