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eisenhower park

 

 

 

 

 

the moon is bald and bloated
after fifty seven summers

counting the months
but not the years

silent as embers

night sky nestles
birdlike in the trees

the evening damp

and splayed before us

someone claims our memories
are soft upon the wheel

the thin dried clay

left chafing at the wrist

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

another poem about the moon

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Emmyb gold member
    September 19

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    I like two things about this poem. The essence of time passing by, and the use of immediateand raw images such as the description of the moon and the birdlike trees.

    this poem is one of the best ive read.

    I love it
    truly

    emm


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    August 10

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    Excellent

    Ah, a very fine write, indeed. I remember Pres. Dwight D Eisenhower. Especially, his warning that citizens ought to be leary of the military/industrial complex. This is a very fine write indeed. Thanks for sharing.


  • Grunts Girl gold member
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    You know what is funny?
    no not clowns at the circus... well yeah they are too but ... anyway---

    For years, and I mean YEARS, I hated the full moon.
    It would be the worst nights/ afternoons to work. All the crazies and those who were normal somehow found their way into the moons crater and lost thier minds as well!
    This reminded me for some reason of George.... The homeless guy on 84th street that I would give a gatorade to from time to time in the hot summers...He was always fascinated by the moon and told me one day he would go there. He would ramble on about how after he died it would be HIS face I would see there. It was always interesting, sometimes I would park within a block of him and write a report and people watch him during a full moon... He would talk, dance and share his love for the moon to anyone driving or walking by. He was so harmless but seemed like a threat to those who didnt know any better- you know the type?
    so there is where i went for the first half of this.... just thinking about george and how his life revolved around the moon yet many never would know he existed....
    then the last part.... it was an interesting change of direction that happened subtle... where i was finally captured in a memory- no more of the suggestion but now I am there sort of deal
    I wonder who that 'someone' is..... I guess we all have a 'someone' which is what I like so much about this- because George would have his someone too.


  • cvillelisa
    August 9

    Edit | Reply


    Hard to make anything about the moon sound poem worthy these days -- at least I think-- despite its being a constant source of inspiration -- most of the moon poems I read are so over wrought -- probably why for me, the last four lines here -- are the poem for me.

    And maybe the best last four lines I've read in a bit of an AP while.

    I'm not sure why you've left that one line stanza there though? Actually I could do without these lines which for me sort of hit that "oh no, the sentimental moon pome thing again" sort of feeling:

    silent as embers

    night sky nestles
    birdlike in the trees

    the evening damp
    and splayed before us


    but that's just me ---

    Love the title too. Much enjoyed my time here.

    Hope your summer has been going along well Al.

    Lisa


  • Cat gold member
    August 8

    Edit | Reply
    is it about the moon?..
    i am fairly sure it isn't... i think it's a man evaluating his life with the moon as a common factor, an ever present force
    the fold of year after year
    and long nights lit and spun on a potters wheels..
    is it about the moon
    .. i'm pretty sure it isn't... but what do i know?..

    beautiful poetry.

    4 days until the
    cicadic rhythm of a pestering poster hits your wall again

    hugs,
    me


  • bonnie blue
    August 6

    Edit | Reply

    succinctly evocative

    about the moon? hmmm...perhaps...

    i like the references to clay on the potter's wheel, and could feel the crusty wrist...these words appeal to the artist in me, tho my medium is not clay. at least not yet.

    few words, powerful emotions here.


  • just rob gold member
    August 5

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    I need'nt tell you how much I reference the moon. This is exquisite! For me, somehow, it's stanza five that really gives me that "damn, I wish I wrote that" tingle. One of yours always requires me to read and re-read many times. Well done.


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    August 5

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    Rich, engaging. Teasing allusions and language from the soft end of the scale.
    Such kindness from the moon.


  • vieve gold member
    August 4

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    Beautiful! 'soft upon the wheel' really gets me. The idea that things old to us, long in the past are in some way young, soft in the grand scheme. Galling and yet comforting at once.


  • Desiree Darkk
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    Hey we have an Eisenhower Park. I think it's Eisenhower Park. Just about everything in Gettysburg is Eisenhower this and Eisenhower that.

    Anyway, there is always something new to say about the moon. I love moon poems.

    "the moon is bald and bloated"

    Lovely.

    Desiree

  • Rowan gold member
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    I love that word chafing. yum. A very moving piece, I love the thought of memories being soft upon the wheel...
    Poignant and beautiful work al.


  • Nicolette gold member
    August 1

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    i like the moon in poetry, just as much as i like flowers in poetry...and isn't the moom but a stemless white flower? loved the image of clay and wheel. the use of the word 'chafing' is so very powerful

    wonderful poetry, al - a fine piece of writing

    ~ Nicolette


  • Namita
    August 1

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    I really like he last two stanzas. And I love poems about the moon. This is truly beautiful, Al

  • tara wilson gold member
    August 1

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    i really really like this, lines 6-9 hold such beautiful imagery, but there is such a harsh turn at the end. quite painful.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 1

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    This brought back memories of high school honors art class and the potter’s wheel.

    I loved the feel of slip between my fingers and the excitement of creating art from the essence of earth and all that ever was.  

    Fine piece AJ.


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 1

    Edit | Reply

    I like your poems about the moon, Al. I especially liked your last two stanzas on this one. Yes, memories do chafe horribly at times. Good to see you posting again, Scribe.


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