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For Her...

 

 

 

 

My birthday is coming
Wonder if I will be still waiting
Waiting for you to see
...Me


I want you to see me
To cut through my forcefield
With the knife I put in your heart; dislodge it

It is the only way you can get to me

 

I want your heart
Wounded and bleeding
I want you to love me

Just love me


Love me, damn it!





...Please

My birthday is coming
The best gift I could receive
Is you.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • cre8tiv-writer
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    Sad, yet poignantly beautiful. I can feel the desperation and tender loss in every line...great job!


  • Turtledove
    August 4

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting idea

    Never thought a "knife in the heart" would do the trick; but this is imaginative! Reminds me of the movie "One Fine Day"; one of the reporters tells George that she cares about him and that not to worry because she is "soft, but brutal." Strange contrast of ideas to express one's interest. Your command that he, "Love me, damn it!" was also new for me. Gotta admit the young fusion age is new to me. In the final analysis, you wrote from your own heart and mind, and for that I applaud your efforts. You were the most honest writers in this contest so far. You just told me the way it was and I like that. Well done.

    • Hey thanks turtledove that means a lot. I've never seen that movie but I might just look it up. Thanks for your comment!

  • aww this is really sweet, bitter sweet actually. good write, love the emotion. good job!

  • Its very touching. I know where you are coming from. your emotions are well written and explained. very good. hope to see more from you.

    • Thank you. I am so critical of myself that it takes me awhile of writing to find something that I feel is worth posting.


  • carebear123
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    awww this is so sweet...i kno how this is...im bisextual also and i avoid being with girls bc the only ones i end up caring for are straight. =( its really sad and it takes alot out of u i can tell. i hope things work out for you. i hope to read more from you.<3

    • Lol she is not straight by any means but I understand where you are coming for cause I have been with a straight girl before... big mistake!

  • What a beautiful longing for one to love another. You did a wonderful pleading for yourself to be loved by the one who holds your heart, I unerstand this sconsiderably. I wish you the best of luck in the co ntest and asalways Keep penning!


  • She burns
    August 1
    Edit | Reply
    Just so touching here, with all the emotions, anger and longing...


  • Fallen-Muse
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    What a beauty of a poem. I have gone through a similar situation so I can really relate. I love the emotion in this peice it is so overwhelming. Thanks for the add by the way. Your poetry... well the one poem that you have on here is really amazing. Thank you so much for sharing. Welcome to Allpoetry!!

    • Awww arent you so nice. Thank you, I love getting comments like this. I am new to this website so... Thanks for your comment!


  • Rick Weston silver member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    I like the depth of emotion and longing expressed in these lines. Nice poem, keep at it.

    Welcome to AP.

1 - 19 of 19