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Pseudo

the world was against you
and I was there
at your back --
keeping the wolves at bay,
caring when all else

would rather slap you down.

 

winning back trust seemed

an endless chore --

of asking forgiveness

from those you wronged.

 

eventually,
the smoke finally cleared
and you walked away...
forgetting I even existed.

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • abu nuwas
    September 10

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    Sad in a wan way...

    I broke a rule, and just read the comments before commenting myself. It is a touching little fragment, neither under-done nor over-egged. But one of your admirers speaks disparagingly of the 'shallow and the specious'. That is tantamount to a personal insult, and has distraccted me from your piece.

  • mayer
    August 9

    Edit | Reply

    Sad

    A sad read. I would edit it up a little bit. Take:

    the world was against you
    and I was there
    at your back --
    keeping the wolves at bay,
    caring when all else
    would rather slap you down.

    Try looking at it this way:

    World against you
    I am there
    at your back --
    keep the wolves at bay,
    when all else
    slaps you down.

    By bring the piece into the present tense you help me become part of the poem...part of the story. I saw another piece you wroye. Liked that very much. However, that was also in the past tense. Think about it and get back to me. I am interested in your ideas. Good luck!!



  • Bob Fox
    August 1

    Edit | Reply

    Poet

    Sounds like the good guy gets kicked in the pants once again. And shall we ever learn...The specious and shallow are all about themselves.


  • Mariana gold member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    Your poem echoes what I am feeling right now. I stood up for someone who I believed had been wronged. Now I see that things aren't always what they appear to be.

    Mariana  


  • Roland Welles gold member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    Ouch... sadly we've all felt such a "sting" after finding out some "pseudo"'s true colors, whether on the net or in person... very well expressed.


  • Matt Holck
    July 31
    Edit | Reply
    I pretend I have friends
    even though they never send me messages


  • wattle silver member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    What is it about the Internet, warm sunny days and poets in love with the idea of being loved? ---- Still it makes the reading special. Thank you. ---- (A note: I noticed the other day you don't have any more books on lulu. I've purchased the three you have there. I went looking for another to have one of my own. The other three I entrusted to a 'friend' to deliver; he kept you for himself. (But we all know about Canadians and possession). --- Should I look elsewhere for my new book?) --- Hope all is well in your 'vertual reality'.

    • Barbara gold member
      July 31

      Edit | Reply
      This one was more about lost friendship than love, really.

      My books aren't there? Weird... I'll have to check since they were there the last time I looked (although, that was a few months ago). I haven't anything new lately, since I seem to be stuck in a 'fiction inspired by' mood on SW... but, I might break out of that soon


      • wattle silver member
        July 31
        Edit | Reply
        No!!! No, your books are there (3) but nothing new?????

1 - 10 of 10