Bleeding Mascara

Why do you love me?
Do you think I should care?
I'm not perfect,
not special,
I'm not hard,
I ain't rare.

I ain't rock bottom,
I ain't a diamond,
I'm not weak...
...or sweet,
I ain't scared.
I ain't unique.

I ain't anorexic,
I ain't close to forgetting it,
I won't remember
(or regret) it,
I won't try to rewind,
I don't want to fast forward,
I'm not caring and kind,
I'm not awkward.

I ain't got a label so
I'm not labelled crazy.
I don't travel
or have the capacity
to.
I ain't got a story,
I ain't got kids,
I ain't got a job
(or a spare kiss).

I ain't got a razor
or a gram of cocaine.
I ain't going to rust,
I ain't your kind of rain.

I don't do bareback,
I ain't done time,
I don't go to Church,
I can't stand in line.



I ain't a trampoline
to jump on, and get high.
I'm not obsessed with suicide,
I don't want to die.

I ain't really got scars,
it's all in your mind.
Scratch deeper, work harder,
see what else you can find.

I'd love someone to be there
to catch me when I fall.
But if they're not,
I couldn't blame them at all.
I've seen so many
break and rot,
now their trouble
is trouble I got:

so many backs
to have and to keep -
I don't think I can -
can't I just fall asleep?
Your heart is heavy -
made out of stainless steel...
You could make it a weapon -
and make it easy to kill.


You can't hurt my heart,
with your pretty little lies.
I ain't wearing a mask -
don't you like my 'disguise'?
There's one love for mascara
and even that dries.
My tears are black, like the
compromise
between two best friends
and the blood in their eyes
and
people who fall, in the end,
and die.

Sorry for not being there
when you wanted me to be.
I love you and I miss you
and I hope that you are free.
I hope that everything
you knew was true.
I wish you was me
and I wish I was you.