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Dancers



I can tell when you have wandered
your mountains
possessing each precipice
remembering your song

the wind is in your hair
in the darks of your eyes
beneath your clothes
whirling still
all around you

I hear you approach from afar
like the fall of dripping drumbeats
toward dry ground

searching for me,


where I wait

among simple grasses

we dance
the dance of willows
cheek to chest
without ever touching

your music swallows me
so deep inside you
I'm sure

I am balancing your heartbeat
upon careful fingertips,
cradling your next exhale
between my lips

soft, rhythmic flow

we float together
leaving no imprints--
like ghosts, strumming the clover

with what might have been

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

I chose the word DESCENT as inspiration.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Cup-a-Joe
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    When you get that book plublished, and on the stands I am not going to buy a copy. I am going to make you give me one autographed to me.
    Poetry at it's very best.

    Joe


  • Mallig gold member
    September 3

    Edit | Reply
    This poem blew me away, it is pure brilliance!

    your music swallows me
    so deep inside you
    I'm sure
    I am balancing your heartbeat
    upon careful fingertips,
    cradling your next exhale
    between my lips

    WOW!! The depth of emotion and imagery of that stanza just grabbed me and held on, it could stand as its own poem. Congratulations on the gold, this is a poem to be remembered.


  • Dalaney gold member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    you got me with this poem...heart and soul.
    bookmarked, and yes, i think one of your best.
    xoxox


  • Everwind Rising
    August 26
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful!


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 22
    Edit | Reply

    "cradling your next exhale
    between my lips"

    Gorgeous and soothing...and how your next to last line could have easily been "stunning the clover". Congratulations on a well-deserved gold.



  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    August 22

    Edit | Reply
    OHHHHHH MAN!

    This is incredible. Absolutely stunning. The second write I've read in this contest that should be published. This poem will make you famous. It is stunning.

    It's funny how when I read poetry, though I love and appreciate all of it, I instantly know what is true talent, what is meant to be in literature books in the future. (the same way I can easily predict which bands and songs are going to make it big in music, long before they do - i.e. Seether, Shinedown, Linkin Park - I listened to them long before anyone knew who they were or they got any radio play).

    Your poetry has that effect. When I read it, it opens my eyes a little wider, changes the tone of my voice to one of slow wonder... it's difficult to explain but when I read it, I know. You are meant to be known for this.

    It just clicks.

    Beautiful imagery here. Stunning, really. The willows, the mountains, the image of your lover's lungs and heart being between your hands - the control insinuated there... it's breath-taking. Not to mention that your entire poem, all of your images and metaphors, are extremely innovative.

    I am adding this to the finalist's list and to my best of AP list.

    Incredible. Reminds me of why I love reading your work.


  • Calandra Jane
    August 18
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent, I loved the beauty of this poem. This is fantastic, great job! Good luck in the contest


  • Navajo Apsara gold member
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    This is a excellent poem you have here. Some dance the dance of willows cheek to chest without ever touching bautiful alot of felings and emotions. I love this part. Cheek to chest without out ever touching. Thank you for sharing I enjoyed a lot.


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    August 6

    Edit | Reply
    And your words float into the subconscious
    holding the reader entranced in the artistry...

    Superb!

    M-C


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    August 4

    Edit | Reply

    wild applause goes here

    "...where I wait among simple grasses ... "

    I've waited there, too.
    This is beautiful to both eye and ear.
    Back later to re-read.
    Good luck in the contest.

  • ea silver member
    August 3
    Edit | Reply
    very evocative with the blowing grasses and hair - I find a sweeping spirituality in this descent.


  • Peteskid gold member
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    a dance when bodies move to a common feeling from music or a flow of emotions something deeply sensed, to move in concert; the imagery is wonderful, mountains, willows...images the fill the eyes and linger...PK


  • Mari Goes gold member
    August 1
    Edit | Reply
    This is simply delightful! Reading your poem was like being in front of a painting.
    So well done Ten


  • Yemassee gold member
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    Kaibob's first line bears repeating, and really that's all one needs to say. But being a verbose fellow I will go on.

    I like the intertwining of nature and human feelings/desires here, it gives the poem that "airy" feeling. It's quite lovely.


  • kaibab silver member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    I do love this one...
    the wind never stops moving...
    such soothing step to step enhancement
    for forest line of wild enchantment...
    definately a deeper step into Nature...


  • Swangrnv gold member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply

    OH MY GOSH...

    what is happening today on AP?? wow, this is stunning!! i have read a few really solid pieces today, and this is right at the top of the best i've read list.. amazing and beautiful write my friend..


  • Cannonsfire
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I am sitting here re reading this and thinking I know I have been to that place before, I can smell it, hear it and feel it. You manage to draw every emotion from a reader and for me that is one thing I put above all else. You made me live this or perhaps I did somewhere once upon a time. C


  • crivanea silver member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    oh! ....sec..let me reread....stunning!!!

    I am balancing your heartbeat
    upon careful fingertips,

    I want to steal it..frame it..and put it on my wall.. well done!!!

    and I abs. adore the last line..I love the way your stanzas work..thoughts that seem so light..airy..but full of depth ..longing..beauty..

    great take on the inspiration.. best wishes in the contest


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    Your poems always make me sigh, and none more than this one. The gentle sensuality and longing pervade every line. I don't know how you can consistently create these memorable scenes that combine nature and romance without sounding saccharine, but you do. Every one of your poems takes a fragment of time and fills it with such tenderness and wistfulness. And through it all you don't strain for wordplay that puts any barriers between your verse and the readers' feelings. I applaud you. Peace, Liz

  • tara wilson gold member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    this is absolutely stunning! what a beautiful tone & i love 'dripping drumbeats'.
    I can see them...

1 - 20 of 20