Just to be me
without the insanity
is a dream of mine ...
I spend so much time
clinging onto the hope
that one day I'll be free.
Free from the shackles
of my past mistakes ...
Free to hold the breaks
just when the hill gets
to steep ...
That dream of mine is a stranded
boat out there bobbing
alone in a deep sea of my own
mixed up misery;
my calm waves can't bring
it home.
A contest entry
- Darkness and Hope. by XxNinjaNemoxX.
550 points, ended August 16, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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I like your choice of words...
The emotions were neatly sewn in with
the poem itself. Nicely done
Lovely
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I can feel your depression in your words, while I can also feel the warmth from a flame's flicker of hope ignited. I was in this place not so long ago, and for so long, it seemed. But my patience paid off. Thank God I waited! Keep chasing the dream and never, ever give up. The current always changes and soon it will bring your boat into shore. Thank you for sharing a part of your soul. You are a brave man!
Love and hugs to you!
--Kelly
(Thanks for reading my tribute to my mom--"The Singer."
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A fighter is someone who would never let go of his/her dream, no matter how much struggling and suffering he/she has to go through, because he/she must protect, continue and achieve his/her dream. This writing reminds me of a fighter like that.
Calm waves are not powerless. Strong waves may be able to sweep everything, while calm waves have the ability to spare everything.
Impressive imagery and expression here, really nice job.
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The dream dwells with the dreamer
UNTIL that dreamer pursues it... and then manifests it in their reality. The greatest forgiveness is found within the self. It matters little if anyone else forgives you in comparison. These shackles are but illusory binds that have been erected in the mind... thus... within the mind alone shall they be dissolved. Go on... dive deep into that sea (see) and you will find treasures on the ocean floor that you never knew existed while bobbing on the surface.
Your writes are well presented... offering great imagery... depicting your confusions and contemplations both. -
That dream of mine is a stranded
boat out there bobbing
alone in a deep sea of my own
mixed up misery;
Mine, too! Great description.
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Well penned dear poet, I could feel the conflict in this... I loved the ending, and a line inbetween:
'Free from the shackles
of my past mistakes ...'
We learn to live with them, because we have to...
Keep your magical pen flowing...
Elmarie
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thank you
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i like the image of calm waves, and the dream.
as long as we dream, we know our spirit is still alive.
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Thank you
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I like this a lot
I hope you find that peace everybody needs me time =
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THANK YOU
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true emotion
'Free from the shackles
of my past mistakes ...'
wow ur poetry is so full of emotion and i feel like i can really connect with it. we all have something in our past that we want to be free of, to wish it would release us from its grapse. great job expressing the feeling
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thank you for your kind words
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Certainly relateable.
I think everyone has that dream at some point
Thanks for entering and best of luck
xoxo. -
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thank you
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Relatable
Totally amazed at how I can relate
Making amends, means not to wait
There are skeletons in all closets true
Coping with them is down to you
Do not surrender your future yet
Happiness is waiting to be met
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thank you
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insane forever? yikes!
That dream of mine is a stranded
boat out there bobbing
alone in a deep sea of my own
mixed up misery;
I can relate to that. your life sucks, your in turmoil, there's nothing for you but pain around every corner. ...maybe not but that's the impression I got from your poem. hopefully your all better now, now that you've written down your lament and shared it will other people. good job, thumbs up! -
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thank you
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your welcome
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a good poem, ah i think we are all insane to some degree or other, and we all spend some time trying to brush away those chains from the past mistakes, hills become too steep, seas become too rough and the spirit thrashes as it seeks shelter and escape. but those are just moments, other times roll along and the sun shines with smiles.
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thank you for your kind applaud
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this is pretty good. I do notice "to steep" needs to be "too steep" but I don't think it really matters... if you were turning it in for a college English grade, then you'd have to change it, but anyways.. I'm not here to criticize your poem all the way. This is a very nicely written piece. At least I think it is lol. I like how you wrote it. keep up your amazing work!
TwiztidMaggot -
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thank you
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Wow this was very well done and I can totally relate, there are things in my past that I wish I could be freed from and hopefully one day that will happen for both of us. Just to be me
without the insanity
is a dream of mine ...
I spend so much time
clinging onto the hope
that one day I'll be free
That was my favorite part. Good write. -
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thank you
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its funny, freedom is such an always moving line. we sometimes feel unfree though compared to slaves/etc we have vast freedoms. I wonder if it will always be this way
interesting metaphor with calm waves. The sea-image is strong too.
A nice write, thanks -
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thank you Kevin your kind words fill me with joy
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