My perpetual motion kept me from claiming a home
So I placed mine in you
It was just a lease, to temporarily house my stuff
And I meant to settle but I didn’t keep up with the rent well enough
And after five years I’m homeless again
So you say, let’s just love like friends
But y’know, I know and y’see I see
All of your mollifying lies and insincerity
You’ve won your subconscious contest for conquest
And it doesn’t matter that I’m breaking
That I’m a shadow scattered by all of these directed beams
Now my love is a hated child that I’m pregnant with
Too late to terminate
And I just want it to separate, to die
But I still talk to it sometimes, sing it lullabies
Because I maintain some humanity
And just like any man, you won’t claim responsibility
And you are always so frustrated with me
Like I did something
Like I’m not sorry and miserable every day
For all of my selfish mistakes
That I could no sooner relive, than erase
But I’m sick of being civil, I’m sick of being silent
Crying, crumbling, trying to remind you
That I’m an option still viable
And I’m not saying shit
Until you admit your intent for a slender m. tomorrow
because I’m merely your messy yesterday, wasting away
Author notes
i need a better title.
written in February 2009
