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Moon Light Hunt II

An odd one out.
Black as midnight.
A long tail fire red and yellow.
Stunning sheen for this phantom.
Mystic blood red eyes,
Blazing in the night’s darkness.
Dwindling in the black; He watches his prey.
Closely as she entranced another.

She so radiant one would think an angel.
Metallic velvet black locks.
Slicked down a curved body.
Pale moon lit skin; opening a labyrinth to the mind.
Sweetly scented and drawing to the eye.
A voice soft as wind chimes and the songs of heaven.
Mouth watering feast...
To the Black phoenix of death!

He is silent watching her closely.
Emerging down through the shadows.
Stealthy and stalking in his movements.
Smooth is his voice and full of delight;
as honeyed as hers in this dark night.
The bird is a transformed alteration; now a man.
Tall, dark and handsome,
More so than the luscious beauty he hunts.

With much macabre and aphrodisiac lust in his advance,
scooping her into his arms with a bold embrace,
flirting; the huntress is entranced.
Sharing one passionate kiss during their dance;
It's then he shows his true intentions by striking.
Hunting the pale beauty by draining her dry.
The drainer becoming the drainee to this creature.

An odd one out.
Black as midnight.
A burst of black flames as he bows.
Showing one last charming grin to the drained corpse,
thanking her for the meal as she lay in a spread.
He is now a Bird again.
The Black phoenix of death.
As an illusion death pheasant, or charming bachelor.

Do not Saunter! No one is safe this moonlight Hunt!

Author notes

Words used from Contest list:

Phantom, Mystic, entranced, velvet, labyrinth, Emerging, delight, transformed, alteration, luscious, macabre, aphrodisiac, embrace, entranced, dance, intentions, spread, illusion, Saunter.

Words not used from Contest list:
Echo, Narcissistic,Panic, Psyche, Languid, Gore, Trace, Fulfill, Harbinger, Cradle, Whither, Altar.


Creatures used for the Poem:
The Vampire and Phoenix (Metamorphi in hiding.)

A contest entry

Beware Ladies, and charmers, you too may be hunted!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • silverscent gold member
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant descriptions in this.

    "Pale moon lit skin; opening a labyrinth to the mind." is one part that stood out to me most of all, but like I've said this is full of vivid description.

    Interesting story to it too, quite scary as well.

    Thanks for entering.


  • RaphalousAddailion
    August 15
    Edit | Reply
    You always have a way to make your poems flow and seem like one of your chapters in the story!!!


  • Concrete Angel silver member
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    Love the additions, they make the poem even more awesome and seemed to add even more depth to the imagery! Just don't forget to add the new words you inserted to your author notes to completely fulfill the contest rules!


  • TheGothicScorpion
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    that was bad ass! i can't even think of the words to describe it, it was so good. it was like i was there witnessing it all happen the imagery was so good. good write/read


  • Antebellum
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful write.
    I love the ending,

    thank you for taking the time to enter,
    good luck

  • Bad Bill
    July 31
    Edit | Reply
    A darkly atmospheric piece, narrated with style and flair.

    Good work,
    Bill


  • Concrete Angel silver member
    July 30
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I see the author notes now, you are still a few words short of the 18 needed... try to fit a few more in! This is a great piece!


  • Concrete Angel silver member
    July 30
    Edit | Reply
    This is terrific. The phoenix entranced me with every word. You drew me in from the beginning wondering, which creature is this? I thought phoenix for a brief moment then thought maybe not, I like the way you went with it. I love the whole sinistere feel of it and the diea of the "phoenix of death".
    Please remember to include the creature you chose(even though I can tell it's phoenix) and the words from the word bank that you used(try for 18), in your author notes. Please make the changes by contest close (Aug 12, plenty of time ) I would hate to have to disqualify this fabulous piece for missing a rule.


  • Shades of Pale silver member
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is fantastic!! I loved it!! Great work, I found I felt like I was reading a novel!!! Fantastic...!

1 - 9 of 9