Perfections blurred, graces swirled
spilling darkness in swiftest flight
through lanes mapped and burned within my veins...
Hollowed eyes torn from skin,
sallow madness in frayed seams
beneath the weight of nothingness...
I awoke, waves craving, once weary
swaying in forgetfulness of bones that ached
in shadows, stark and stunning
drenched in upward glances
two birthing stars kissing...
Droplets on an upturned face
echoing sounds in moonlight
from a tongue that tasted fools and their secrets...
I am at peace, in angel limbs
greeting me between heaven and hell
shining out of the hollows of my soul
overlaid with notes on the edge of my heart
playing the ghost of scents, traveling,
evaporating in motions where the rains have fallen...
Ripples wrapped in gravity, I need a Savior
seduction from the mask of civilized hell
on the edges of all that is holy...
Trembling like a willow,
hidden, dissolving, frantic in a circuitous wind, flesh rotting fast
before the curtain call
signaled by a comet skipping across the sky...
Hey! gimme back my body, you thieving angel...
get back here...
woven from the meanderings of white stone
(except the last two lines)
In a list
A contest entry
- Put A Little Tiger In My Tank (Big Points) by Mr Jigs.
1100 points, ended August 7, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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great
haha love the ending -
Great poem you have written here. If I had that body, I would not want to be an angel lol. I like the description and the take on the prompt. Really enjoyed the way you brought it all home with those last two lines:
Hey! gimme back my body, you thieving angel...
get back here...
Made it excellent. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
Rod
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I must admit, I love this take on the picture. You have woven words here that speak out of ones own sorrow and all. This is outstanding in my view. Best of luck, and like how you added that little mixture in the end.
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thanks, the things we see in our waking delirium...
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Could fill a book or two with those visions that float in our minds first thing in the morning.
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Lol, it's amazing how you can do that... and those last two lines really embody me as a human being.
When you pick all these pieces of my poem out and weave them together like this the angsty/sorrowful/dark aspects come to the fore vividly.
This is the second time I feel like you've used my imagery more effectively than I have.
"Trembling like a willow,
hidden, dissolving, frantic in a circuitous wind, flesh rotting fast
before the curtain call
signaled by a comet skipping across the sky..."
That's just wicked man, no other way to put it.
*snap**snap**snap*
(there should be a snapping emoticon)
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thanks- funny how something 'amazing' to others is something we take for granted... I could analyze it... nah... lol well ok... let's see... if I really like a poet's output (which is a package deal- 'creative spark' and 'energy' and 'direction' and 'voice' and 'distinctive style') and it differs from my natural tendencies but I can still 'feel it', then I can do this... I've done it with the works of Night Hope, Just Rob, hmmm... who else... individuality... I know there's others... the comments of B2oH lol (I have my eye on Nicolette)... the entire Candy177 series... maybe it is simply 'reading creatively'... (not a good thing when reading instructions or in chemistry, I found out...)
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well I'm honored by it. I would really like to hear some elaboration on the creative chemistry...
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