do we see the faces of the dead;
those slain,
amidst the dancing dandelions
and perennial poppy plains
hewed from the shiver,
subdued by the sliver
can you imagine their pain-
a torrential thud
that terminates metallic rain
and memories of what could be
is humanity really sane;
that a families father,
backed by their baby brother
should facilitate the burn
of shattered sisters,
and maintain the misery
a mourning mother learns--
why do we kill one another
in selfish and ignorant need,
to succeed in slaughter-
to instill superiority,
to sanitise our borders
and so we have world wars,
blood-lusts and settled scores
lost children
as the predatory prowl,
the propaganda pours;
now the sanguine sorrow
becomes a sacred call
that sustains the strangle,
the cloak of insanities sacrificial shawl...
Author notes
Think Laurence Binyon said it best "age shall not weary them"
written from the prompt in the following contest http://allpoetry.com/contest/2453191#
Comment/Critique if you wish
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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powerful words of piece brother, you executed this one with utmost precision.
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Darling
The regret of war is one that will haunt humanity for all the ages…but then we do not ever find that peaceful place do we? There will always a handful that thinks they know…what we need, or desire, all on the guise of
They’re craving for power or greed.
You work is thought provoking but then you always seem to pen something very profound. I am always left with more questions than answers when I partake of your works. Your expression is intriguing to the point of contemplative on so many levels.
You pen to perfection, your cadence a gift, your works wondrous. My heart gifts you once again darling my appreciative thank you; for you always touch something so much more than even your words express…that indeed is a rare talent.
Lady E
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Whoa. I don't even know what to say to this. That was stunning.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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Oh My ~
This tugs hard and what a weaving of words
which twists and turns the tongue~~
but much energy flows from Your quill
busy bee~~
It was hard to digest for the images
came like a tsunami and I had to take
a break...
slowly come back to digest more...
Excellent~
Thank You for sharing Your Talent
Best wishes in all You do
with love & light~ Desire~*~
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Ohh lala.
Nothing to critique, coz this poem speaks perfection for itself.
Me loves i do.
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mmm. prophetic social commentary with just the right touch of empathetic reflection to give us thoughtful pause. well done. -silverphish
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i am stunned!!
Rob,
your write is so freaking deep, you touch a subjects that matter in the
world they get caught up in the political side of things and forget that
[people are human, and not just a number or a commodity !!
Thank you Rob,
for sharing another facet of your heart
Blessings
Rend
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Such sorrow and reality in the message you've put into this piece. This is written brilliantly and beautifully. You have a great talent for writing. =]
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Ouch
You have a good point here. Are we really doing the right thing gettting hundreds and hundreds killed? I like all the alliteration you use in this and all the imagery. Makes me really wonder... -
Vivid and hits home. Beautifully written, you can tell how much painstaking effort went into it. Really makes you think.
Well Done.
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Such vivid and sorrowful truth...written from a heart of compassion. The imagery here makes this write so very intense...so realistically displayed. I wish this was not so...with all I am I wish this was not so. Yet you shine a light on graphic and morbid reality. My heart is in mourning for such useless horrors as this...and by the rendering of your words...I wager your is as well.
Always a pleasure to read your words...I never come away from a poem of yours without feeling...intensely...deeply...and so importantly...I carry a lasting jolt from your words.
My blessings to you dear friend...always~
Sue
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amazing imagery and deftly written critique of this damaged world, with so many bent on bending other or breaking them. "the cloak of insanities sacrificial shawl"
both thought provoking and heart saddening.
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words here that make each soul think and ponder about the true hardships of war, the feelings that run deep and strong in some, the hate and uncertainly of many, all rolled up here with your poetic voice stating questions many never want to try and answer.
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wow, very different and unique. Beautifully written, keep up the great work
x -
Although I may disagree with parts of the message the poem is well written and the words are well chosen.
When I read this poem I took poppy fields to be references to either Flanders or Afghanistan. In the case of WWI, if a nation is attacked, should it not fight back? If you are an ally to a nation attacked, do you not respond?
In the case of Afghanistan the invasion by the US and its allies were in response to the Taliban harboring the terrorists who set up the attack on the World Trade Center. When you look at the beatings and executions of women who did not want to be repressed, men who did not want to grow beards, and girls who merely wanted to attend school can you defend this?
On the other hand, the portions of your poem that deal with sense of loss of those killed on the battlefield or as 'collateral damage' is stark and realistic.
Your poem is thought provoking. You have done a very good job on this.
Mike
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Nicely written.
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amazing take
wonderful imagry. You managed to take quite a morbid subject manner turning it to a beautiful gentle approach to fact.
Be proud,
This was very very impressive.
Belle.
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you never fail to impress me with your artful writing, the style which only you hold. I love to wonder about your marvellous endless thoughts that you bring everytime you write. Thanks for sharing waht has been given to you by Him, this was is truly filled with a lot of emotion. Loved this specially...to succeed in slaughter-
to instill superiority,
to sanitise our borders...ah well!
Lovely, lovely piece!
Love and light,
lencio
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poet
Powerful write and the questions always asked. Why do we kill. All I can answer to that is that there is evil & at times we fail to acknowledge it before it is to late. And then wars come & the good die. Peace poet.
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An inspired write from that prompt. You are gifted with the talent to make one feel some real emotion from reading your poetry. A fine example once again my friend. Such a sad topic you have chosen, society' s lack of caring, continuing conflicts, for what? Nothing has changed.
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You have never failed to touch and make one feel and this poem sums my thoughts to perfection.
The way of which society gives the lows and the way your poetic voice states it.
Beautifully crafted
Best wishes to you
Julie
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