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I miss you.

I miss you.
I miss the way you made me feel
When we were leaned over the toilet
To reach our fruitless goal.
I miss the way
That you talked to me
And told me how to fix myself.
I hate the way I feel
Now that I've lost you,
Like I'll never be whole,
Even though I felt empty
When you were with me.
I just want to pull you close again...
But I just can't do it now.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I told you
I hated you... I did
At the time, but now
I miss you.

Author notes

Struggling with bulimia recovery. I hated it when I was purging, and now that I'm not I hate not purging. It hasn't been edited and still needs a lot of work.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • kareneisenlord gold member
    September 19, 2009

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    I know it's hard giving up an old friend that you thought you were comfortable with - but it is for our own good to move away from things that are not healthy and wholesome for us. I was bulemic through most of my childhood and teens, well into young adulthood. I understand the emptiness... You will find a constructive way to fill it. karen

    message me anytime. that list I sent you has resources for eating disorders. I think that our lack of a pure and unconditional father 's love in our lives definitely contributes to having an eating disorder!


    • Avalanche.Echo
      September 20, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment.

      And I'm coming to the conclusion that we have FAR too much in common. You're like the me of the future.
      Well... at least so far... does our story have a happy ending? Well, not ending, since you're not dead. But you know what I mean.


  • starving4perfection
    August 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    aww no give a bit more time you'll feel alot better
    loved the way you wrote this it tells a short story of how hard recovering actually is... well done and im always here x


  • beautiful.obsession
    July 30, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    i liked this. it really shows bulimia and how it feels recovering. i loved the emotion you put into this. very powerful. if you need someone to talk to im always here :]

1 - 6 of 6