Eighteen.....
and I wander the moors of madness alone,
sucking in the sands of sanity’s sorrow
from the deserts of decaying dung,
bracken betrayals of life
snuffing breath from my soul.
I cry in silence,
as the vibration of tears
bounce off dead air
that could care less.
Vultures circle in crazy anticipation,
stripping sinuous emotions
from the flesh of rotting fruit
that hangs from a leafless tree,
roots ruthlessly upended,
as sensations of numbness
reach to the heavens,
grasping in hopeless abandon.
Rays of warmth
reach through the atmosphere
momentarily melting misery,
as rainbows of hope
breach the black clouds of darkness,
granting glimmers of a future
that might be worth living.
Author notes
I think 18 was a vulnerable age for many; the best thing about 18 for them.....was surviving.
In a list
A contest entry
- 6 YEAR AP ANNIVERSARY BASH!!! Contest 4 of 6! by Auburn Sunrise.
2000 points, ended August 22, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Yes... eighteen was a time of "survival" for many of us. The imagery is vivid and
crisp evoking such haunting feelings. How I remember hopeless abandon!
Thank you for sharing !
Three Bravos!
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thank you so much for reading and commenting anyafushia. i appreciate it, and am pleased you enjoyed this.
best wishes
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Oh, I love this! Gorgeous, the visuals are stunning ~
Very worthy of the Gold!
~ Tim
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thank you so much Xianaria for such a lovely comment. I am pleased you enjoyed this.
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Vultures circle in crazy anticipation, stripping sinuous emotions from the flesh of rotting fruit that hangs from a leafless tree, This is the part I like the best. Thank you for sharing and it was a pleasure to read
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thank you so much for reading and your lovely comment Shy Little Lamb. I am pleased you enjoyed this.
best wishes
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That sounds like late adolescence. Congrats on your gold.
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So sorry - somehow I missed this comment!
Thanks for reading/commenting - glad you enjoyed this.
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Stop raping " of " the poor fella needs a break!
now moving on SHIZ OMG. Im 18 now ^^ Should i take this as a warning??
This is stunning and filled with really good imagry!
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- but it's SO MUCH FUN!!!
(no fella' 'needs a break' - that's a myth, an urban legend.....lolololol)
Thanks Mango - glad you enjoyed.
18 - wow - that was SO long ago - but your life at 18 will remain with you forever in most cases......best advice: have fun, enjoy, be safe......
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I told you it was one of your best!
LOL...Congratulations on the Gold!! Well done...
Write more!
Please
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me -
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aww - thank you islekine!
sssss
ssssss
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This is perfect! Love the write, love the photo, love the message!
I completely agree with your author's notes!
Your imagery is fantastic! Such brilliant metaphors and strong descriptions! Great diction, too. I love it when a poet takes something ordinary and makes it extraordinary just by word choice.
Thank you for entering this excellent piece and best of luck to you!
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thank you so much Auburn Sunrise for such a wonderful comment. I am honored.
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Well heck!! Change that 18 to 38 and I'm right in this write! I just want that glimmer of hope to be a little brighter.
Excellent write hun.. really great imagery and the alliteration is fab!
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lol - thank you kiwi - glad you enjoyed.
Yeah, I think the older one gets the more they realize 18 is any number anymore....lol....we hit so many 18's!!! Sheesh!
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This is super!
The alliteration is done so well...and the message gave me...as we say here.."chicken skin"...
It captures the feeling very well! One of your best writes...IMHO...Best wishes in the contest and always!
The first stanza grabbed me...very powerful feelings!
Thanks for sharing!
Be well...
and
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Thank you so much islekine for such a wonderful comment. I am glad you liked this. Sorry about the 'chicken skin'....
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Deeply touching words...raw emotions and vivid imagery!
Eighteen.....
and I wander the moors of madness alone,
sucking in the sands of sanity’s sorrow
from the deserts of decaying dung,
bracken betrayals of life
snuffing breath from my soul.
I think this defines my present as well as anything I have ever read...sadly I believe this is the bitter truth for so many of all ages.
As always...it is a journey of great vision to read your soul.
Az
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Thank you so much Az for such a wonderful comment. I am pleased you enjoyed this somewhat 'raw' write.....
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This indeed is a great write something that is a life changing experience for most thanks for sharing best to you in the contest have a great week best wishes always be well.
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Thank you so much Starz - glad you enjoyed this.
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