sometimes

sometimes i ask myself why i let small things get me
then again i think maybe its because most people cant see
sometimes i ask myself why i am so stupid and react the way i do
then again i think its because sometimes i feel i have noone to run to
sometimes i think why at points i dont talk to the people who hold my trust
then again i think most people treat me like dust
sometimes i think why i let people treat me like trash
then i think they might not mean it and they are in a rush
sometimes i think why i listen to what people say
then i think theeres lies then theres the truth and it belongs a certain way
and i cant figure it out
so i think of what the conflicts are about
i wonder why all these questions overflow my mind
and my mothers secrets and lies and my anger makes me feel left behind
i hate this life i wish like a bird i could fly away
into another life so i can somewhat have my way
like deciding if my father can come into my life
and makeing it so right now i dont want to use the knife
and deciding what school i will go to next year
and haveing people I trust help me face my fear
most of the time i am happy but right now i am crying
because i want to harm myself and quit trying
i hope my mother who was forceing me into this is happy now
when will she get on the stage and take her bow
all i can tell her is to move on with her life and get out of mine
actually that goes for most people cause with out them i would be fine
like today when one of the girls sat in a chair when i asked her not to
then her face looked at mine asking what you gonna do
then they allways bump into me on purpous and rush me to get off the computer and phone
that is why i went down stairs to be alone
i dont know what to say cause there are many other things
i gues ill just see what hell tomorrow brings