I feel cleaved in two
Broken, nearly beyond resolve
My morals twisted
My resolve shattered
I don't want to fight
I want to give in
I am weak
Pathetic
I am nearly done fighting
Let the blade fall one last time
Carry me away on precious wings
Walk with me, as you have done
Protect me
Author notes
I do NOT want to explan this to anyone. So don't freaking ask!
Go on. Be honest...I want to know what you REALLY think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Emotions never need to be explained, they need to be lived and you have expressed them well.
awannabepoet
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Emotions don't need an explaniation. But though you leave much to be pondered, the joy of poetry is it molding and morphing to fit to each reader's minds. This morphed to mind and life even, applicable in more than one area. Great imagery, and great emotion!! I'm not sure if I really understand the wording of the very last line..you seem hurt and defeated in the beginning, but then seem to turn around and ask for protection? That is what I related to most however. The thing I don't understand is what I realted to most? Is that ironic? More than often love leaves, fighting..pain...tears! But I ask for something in return...maybe even without realizing it! Maybe that's just something we as humans do. This is just..wow. While typing out this comment, I've re-read it a few times. I like the middle stanza as well, how you started it with "I don't want to fight" and then you end it with "I am nearly done fighting" At first I thought that that seemed rhetorical and it seemed that it was unneeded. But after reading again, I think that it actually is perfect, and don't fix or change anything in this poem! Look I've rambaled on for so long now! This just really struck a great chord with me. Thanks for sharing this!
Emmi -
Since it's a poem, no one should ask, and take it for what it is. I feel that it necessarily was the best, but I can respect your feels.
x
onyx wings. -
oh wow.
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very strong emotions in this write
i know what that can be like sometimes.
great job!
♥ Kate -
Yeah...wont ask..nicely written loved it...keep it up you snexy irish man you : P
~kayla~ -
hi
hi my name is Anna thornton-smith and I think this is really good the best I have read all day I hope yo keep up the good work and enjoy life
Byee
xoxoxox -
Weak? I'd have said this has a strength that many by far would be ashamed to share. No man, this is strong, a reward for honesty, such as mere mortals have.
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ok ok i wont ask!!! what a powerful piece! well penned,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx
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I like it alot it's really good. The last stanza is my favorite.
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Beautiful!
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fantastic
this is epic! i liked it all the way through! the sentiment that you get by with a little help from your friends is clearly and very originally displayed here. nice job scott!
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Wows scott o.o
just wow -
whoa, excellent:]
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Scott I'm not even going to reply to this from a poetry standpoint. I'd just like to say, to all those haters, what are you thinking? This man is great. So get off his back and grow up. I mean, come on.
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