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Unlimited Calling Plan

Missing image

Alone beneath the sun I ponder

"Why I alone must I be"

When in thought I heard the thunder

then a roar of a cry...

"Alone you will be

until you seek Me"

In despair I shouted my reply

"Who is this "Me" I must seek?"

Then the bluest of skies

turned grey before my eyes..

"I am the I AM

you are my lost lamb!"

With a mere chuckle I turned away

"Whatever, my minds playing tricks"

Tears of sadness fell my way

then a cry of desperation

"I love you My child

although you gone wild,

I will wait upon you.."

Sunshine had faded the rain falls

some voice of the unknown calls

"What on Earth is going on"

Heart is burdend by lifes wrong

"See, you are ashamed,

and long to be tamed

to be on a path you belong.."

Fear tugged my heart as I look to the skies

"Whatever on Earth is happening to me?"

To my knees, with heartfelt cries

Forgiveness is what I seek

"You have begun to see

the truth of righteousness is Me,

My hand is placed upon your heart,

and with promise you will not fall apart...

Now stand with pride

& your new birth don't hide

for I AM the Shephard, the Great I AM,

tending the flock, and My lost lamb"

Staring down at the phone in hand

there's no need for a phone card

He is there upon hearts command

with a forgiving heart for you

"You are my lamb, I shall lead you home,

cry out to me no matter where you are

I have the unlimited calling plan..."

Author notes

http://bizarrismo.deviantart.com/art/believer-53443044

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • "Why I alone must I be" -- too many 'I's
    "my minds playing tricks" -- mind's
    "although you gone wild," -- have gone wild?
    "Sunshine had faded the rain falls
    some voice of the unknown calls" --there is a change of tense (which actually occurs a couple times, which tends towards the confusing
    "Heart is burdend by lifes wrong" - life's

    other than those small criticisms, this was a good write. I liked the message and the way if tied into the picture--particularly the title!
    The syntax was a little over done at some points, but i suppose that's a matter of opinion.
    thanks for entering.


  • i like the way that you set it up the way that you made the words flow and it is an original point of view


    • the rose gold member
      July 30
      Edit | Reply
      thank you poet once again for your kind words. I appreciate your visiting.

      the rose


  • Oh.My.Juliet
    July 29

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good! I love what you did with the prompt, very unique and original point of view. Good luck in the contest!

    x


  • Rick Weston silver member
    July 29

    Edit | Reply
    welcome. thanks for sharing your lines here. interesting give and take here in the dialog shared and clever use of the title.

    • the rose gold member
      July 30
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you again poet

      I appreciate your commenting

      the rose

1 - 7 of 7