Mocking Ground

Darkness swallows me in every tear. He’s not worth them.
And yet they fall as if they have no will
And yet the crack I heard I know I hear
And the pain I feel is all too real.

Why now do the waves hit, after the tide has gone?
Why now must the affect of it, affect me so darn hard.
I’m not sure if ever again I want to give my love a leap.
I’ve felt it’s sorrow and it’s pain, I know how it can weep.
The rain that falls and hits the Earth, has nothing in compare.
To love when death has held its hand, burning up despair.
Oh hatred I wonder, how very far, can that one feeling be.
But how could I ever treat him, the way he’s treated me?

Like an hourglass waiting, for the ticking tock of time.
Revenge set on high alert, the answer is all mine.
It’s hurt, he’s hurt, for the things I’ve done, the dreams are all too real.
He doesn’t realize though, that sometimes it was all him.
Him to the greatest depth - a soul can ever climb.
I gave him everything, body and soul, but not a peace of mind.
He took that from me, etched in blood, independence I so wept.
Controlling is another form of love, coming from an obedient pet.

And so I left him scrambling,
but I know he escaped the dark.
I was left to pick up the pieces,
left to clean up the bark.
He blew this heart to shreds,
the trees all burned down.
And the field caught on fire,
no water could put it out.

And my hatred caught a spark of love,
and no mater how much I wish,
I could never be so cruel and cold,
never raise a single fist.

I can’t look around now,
without seeing the things he’s done.
And part of me wants to burn it all,
feel the fire’s fun.

Feel the death that he did today,
as he delivered the final blow.
Blowing all chances that he’d ever had,
at finding someone in Love.
That emotion is ridden, cast out alive,
I feel it’s call even now.
But I’m gonna lock that box, and bury it deep,
that it can’t ever be found.
Love will become my mocking ground.