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Mike's Poem

I want to die,
But you won't let me.

I want to give up,
But you say I can't.

I don't want to fight any more,
But you make me.

I say I surrender,
But you tell me I don't.

I want to cry,
Because you upset me.

I say I have lost all hope,
But you say it's still there.

I want it all to end,
But you say it's not up to me.

I want to leave,
But you tell me I don't have to go.

I say that I LOVE YOU,
And you say nothing at all.








Author notes

Tonight i surrender to all the battles that i have fought.
There seems to be no argument when i say i have lost.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Frodofan silver member
    July 28
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting ending. It was unexpected and a good way to finish. Everything leading up to it seemed rather ordinary though. I've read LOADS of poems just like this, so it needs something to make it stand out. Either some more descriptive wording, some rhyme to add emphasis, or some elaborations as to WHY you want all of this to happen.