My life's monotony had taken toll,
The dismal "everyday" had gotten old,
I packed a simple bag and lost control
Or rather gained it! Full of hope and bold
I left my life and braved the great unknown.
How wonderful it felt to break routine,
To walk at midnight totally alone,
Not ever ordered, heard, or even seen
Until, deep in the forest, I stopped short;
I felt somebody watching up ahead.
A shadow ducked behind a ruined fort
And then it spoke, "Don't bother me," he said.
I had to ask, "Who are you?" No reply.
"What are you doing here?" At this he stood.
"And who are you? You're just the same as I,"
His voice was odd and different. Different's good...
His shadow slowly sharpened as he came
Out from his hiding place. He stopped halfway.
"I came here for some freedom. Mort's my name."
I gave him mine. Then he began to say,
"Perhaps it's chance we met here, maybe fate,
But either way, I feel that we are one.
What else could drive you out this way so late
Besides a boring life? Like me. Undone..."
I saw his eyes flash briefly in the moon
Before his lashes fell and he looked down
At all the silver leaves the wind had strewn
Like corpses left to rot. I watched him frown.
"Perhaps I'm wrong," he said at last and turned.
"No, wait!" I called, "Please stay. You're right. You're right."
And he looked back and something in me burned.
"Would you," he asked. "Come walk with me tonight?"
So I approached and stopped along his side
And even in the dark I saw the bags
Beneath his eyes. He looked at me and sighed
Then suddenly two great and silver stags
Leapt out in front of us then bolted on
Into the brush, their tails flashing white.
He grabbed my hand and smiling, said, "Come on..."
And we pursued them, laughing with delight
Until we noticed that they'd disappeared.
A single cricket made the only sound.
We waited wondering which way they'd veered,
But all was still. We slowly looked around
And saw the sacred place they'd led us to -
The ruins of a castle or some tower
All made of mossy stones and tinted blue
There in the starlight in the midnight hour.
"It isn't chance we met here, surely fate,"
I whispered to him, gazing on his face.
"It's true that I am in a wretched state,
But I think that could change here in this place..."
I watched his lips part and his eyes grow wide
And then he smiled and kissed me tenderly.
We wandered round the stones then went inside,
And here, I hope, we'll spend eternity.
Author notes
A contest entry
- Just Rhyme II by shewalksintomine.
1550 points, ended August 10, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Fantastic. Frodofan, your poems are all so enchanting and inspiring. I enjoyed this one immensely. Poems are especially meaningful when they tell a story, as this one did.


-
Beautiful
It reads so REAL that I wondered while I was reading this poem if it could be true. And the poetry is great. (I love rhyme.)


-
Very nice ...
and certainly a break from the usual gooey love poems one sees here most of the time.
All in all, this is a good job.

-
Quite a story you've got here. The poem is well constructed too. The rhyme flows pretty freely.
Thanks for entering and best of luck! -
This is an excellent composition with flawless flow of the rhyming verse--an abundance of imagery within this write!
Well Done & Best of Luck in the contest! ---
PS. I admire your new picture that you are using--
Quite Beautiful--Great Eyes!!!

-
This is a real classic! exceptional, kind of Lord Dunsany and Tolkien rolled into one. Just splendid no matter how you may slice it, full of that haunting and bittersweet quality that IS the stuff of poetry...

-
What a beautiful story sublimely told! I hope that someday, too, I'll meet some stranger in my wilderness, and we'll find our place to save for the rest of our lives!


-
No one bothers to enchant a read these days, but my eyes were glassy and my mind was venturing into the trees by the time you ended this one.
Love it when someone can make the imagination fly.

-
Thank you for the story. You evoked a lot of emotions in just a few stanzas. And the narrative was very good. Thank you for entering my contest. Good luck to you. Please refrain from rating or replying to any comment made by me or my lovely and wonderful cojudge(s).
1 - 9 of 9






