My Own Isnanitarium (Part One)

I look in the mirror,
I see the past. The Ghosts squim
beneathe the glass,
my soul...a secret window into insanity.

The very word of Insanity,
gets a rise of Anger within me.
I know how to handle my past...
Don't I?

[Beatings from a deranged Father]

Images flash before my eyes,
an unwanted movie,
one I didn't put in.

How can I move on in life,
If I can't even understand why he did what he did.
The hits upside the head were enough,
but he grabbed my neck...
he wouldn't let go...
My Breath stopped...
      Tears
          Fell

[Death Of My best friend]

The pain,
the sadness within me,
the anger at myself.
That damned Leukemia
Why did God take him away from me that way?
The life choked from his lungs,
the slow fall into sickness,
and death...

[A man to save me]

The movie continues rolling,
though I want this ride to end.
I'm done with this movie but it pulls me in.
I fell in love,
would do anything for that man,
anything to help him.

[Heroin Controlled his life]

Anger when he withdrew from the
drug; the power to not try it seemed so far from
my grasp, many things did back then.
The pain when he hit me, beat me..
made me feel worthless.

[The first breakup]

I was shattered, I failed in my duty to
help him, I was useless as he'd said,
better off gone and dead.
Going home to my secret addiction.

[The blade smiles]