Carnival Ride Of Blood and Shame (Please rescue me from the girl in my reflection)

Words spill from your lips like that of a broken record.
Repeated and repeated until my ears are close to bursting.
I cringe at your false apologies and fake smiles,
I know you don't really mean them.
They are just a written piece of fiction like your promises.
You're not sorry you stuck that knife into my back
and twisted it increasing the pain with every turn.
You're just sorry I dug my hands into your basket of dirty laundry
and discovered all your dirty little secrets.

Around and around this carousel I ride upon spins
like the spider web of lies and deceit you weaved.
I'm losing control of my heart and mind, my entire life.
You played with me like I was nothing but a ragdoll,
with lilac yarn hair and ebony button eyes.
Stuffin falling from holes, you refused to sew together
You enjoyed watching me suffer, I was under your mind control.
To me you were irreplacable, you were priceless
but you gave my heart back for nothing, broken sharp shards.

Our relationship was a temporary paradise, a place of ecstacy.
I was happy and in love, I didn't want to go back to my past life.
I feel as though our whole life together was a figment of my imagination.
Not even the photographs I have
can give me the sense of peace I felt when with you.
I skim through my diary, days upon days written in blue ink
that are now left to linger in my brain as a distant memory.
I'll never write those words of affection again,
you took the ability to love away, and didn't give it back.

Around and around this carousel I ride upon spins.
Like the spider web of lies and deceit you weaved.
With the shards of my heart you placed in my hand
I cut my wrist carving your name into my flesh.
I watch as my tainted blood pours and pours
releasing the pain and disgust you left within me.
But to completely rid myself of you,
I would have to carve down to my ivory bones, while bleeding myself dry.

Around and around this carnival ride of blood and shame spins.
I'm losing control and you're the only person who can save me.
From the girl addicted to pain meds and self destruction standing in the mirror.
Crystal tears spilling from her hazel irises while carmine tears spill from her wrist.
Please rescue me from the girl in my reflection.
Please rescue me from this carnival ride.