Dark is the night, so clear and so cold.
The vibrant moon shining down upon
one lonely, lost soul. Every breath taken
is projected in the air, like little white
clouds. She waits under the sky for a vision.
Underneath the indigo blanket
he comes to her at last, but he brings
no vision. Alas, he must take her, prepare her
for an adventure. To go spend
eternity alone is her sad, treacherous fate.
"Savor these next few moments we
will spend together" he tells her. "For
never again will you experience it. Go
adorn your angelic-figure with beautiful
things. Let me take you on your last adventure."
This dark angel, took the girl, as his own
to give one last joy. To prepare her for a
lifetime alone, to strengthen her already too
weak spirit. To let her savor one last
humanly, yet extraterrestrial.
A night of pure ecstasy is what the
girl experiences. Passionate love and
talking, until the sun begins to peak
over the horizon. At which time,
the dark angel positions himself with her
and flies her to eternity.
Author notes
Second Word Bank
Ick!
A contest entry
- Amaze me. by Antebellum.
400 points, ended August 2, 104 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
raw. wonderful imagery.
stunning write,
thanks for taking the time to enter. -
wow, i like the imagery here, raw emotion... This was a great read, I really like your style and enjoy reading your work! Write On!!
-
Well done...
I found this poem to be original and also very sad. To give strength only for it to be slowly twindled away once more. To spend life alone. Such sad concepts and yet it was beautifully done. So much so that I found sadness and pitty for the girl. Hard to do with me. Well done.
~Sera
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I have to be honest, when I saw the title of this I thought to myself "Oh no, not another teenage angst 'Dark Angel' poem." Although you could have been WAYYY more creative with the title, overall, this was not a bad poem. Not exactly perfect, but not bad either. You had some good images here, and you did use good grammar.
Title: 2, Sorry I have read far too many poems with this title. You're lucky I gave you a two and not a zero.
Grammar & Spelling: 20, Perfect as far as I can see!
Flow: 18, Good!
Imagery: 15, Good, but could be better.
Overall Creativity: 10, It could use a more creative theme. You chose the word bank option, which is pretty open when it comes to theme. You could have done something more unique.
Final Score: 65
Thank you for entering my contest!
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