by Gregg Rowe
Sticks and stones my break my bones
But names will never hurt me.
I had to write queer in big, bold letters on my title page for this exam. I need to get used to seeing queer in big, bold letters. It is the label that in 1998, I have to repeat to myself that : I am no longer a happy homosexual, but am now regarded as queer. It is a coined phrase, by the academia and activist worlds, and I resist in my life to wear this coined phrase upon my sleeve. How can I, at the age of 38, adopt a label and a derogatory term that, while I was young, was said in spite and ridicule?
It seems that the whole nation is being queerized. Especially politics where queer is meant to benefit the representation and diversity of our community. (Jagose, 3-4) I do not object to this term on a communal level if it aids the community in achieving their goal, but as an individual, I will continue to resist this label.
I have many labels attached to my name: fag, homosexual, gay, gay activist, HIV +, person with AIDS, person living with AIDS, person living with AIDS activist, survivor; individual labels that place me in what are suppose to be the correct categories of the labels used by society and that should describe my gender and life as a human being. But queer? I think not! I am not "strange, odd or peculiar" nor am I "mildly crazy" or "worthless, yet I could be "eccentric" or "different from what is normal or unusual" in the mainstream society, but so are some very well known heterosexual and bi-sexual citizens: Shirley MacLaine, David Bowie, Mike Jagger, Elton John, Madonna, et al.
What I oppose to the label queer is quite straight-forward, it erases my self-identification and my individualism. ( Jagose, 125-26) Mind you so does fag, gay, and homosexual; but at the same time, these are specific labels that I allow myself to define me. Queer unfortunately places me in categories of sexuality that I do not and wish not to be labelled on an individual basis. I am not trans-- sexual, -vestite, -gender, nor a lesbian for obvious reasons. I may have been pan-sexual and even bi-sexual when I was young, but that does not make me queer. I am not saying that I will disassociate my personal life from these individuals, not at all, some of my best friends are from each sexual category and I find no conflict at all to be in their company.
Thus, on an outing as a group of people, we may be definitely queer because of our diversity of sexuality. I have no objection to this terminology for empowering ourselves as a collective. But when I leave the party and go home dressed in my suburban jeans and t-shirts, with one ear-ring and perhaps construction boots or at least running shoes, I would like to know that I have reclaimed my individuality and my self-identification of I am just a happy homosexual. It took me thirty-eight years to get this far.
At the same time, as an activist, I have to come to know the meaning and importance of developing and evolving terminology for the benefit of empowerment and if we need to coin a new phrase to include all sexualities under one umbrella, well let us do it. But I must warn the academia world as an individual. We can survive with your queer theory coined terminology and fight the new queer politics to further our cause, as long as you remember the trial and tribulations that the older generation of gays, lesbians, drag queens, trans-gender, bi-sexual, etc. had to fight so that you can be sitting where you are today. Let us keep our self-identification and individualism, so that we would be able to record our culture and heritage because already there are too many people referred to in generalizations and numbers in society.
Oh yes, sticks and stones may break my bones,
but one name will definitely hurt me.
Jagose, Annamarie. QUEER THEORY: AN INTRODUCTION. New York (Washington Square): New York University Press, 1996.
Author notes
Written March 26th, 2004
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this is interesting, and i dont mean that as in theres no other way to desxcrbe it, because it is. i have no other etries like this is in my contest and it is nice to see something different.
Great essay thing, its inspiring, well done and thank you for entering!
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To be honest I have never really thought of Queer as a derogatory term, not to myself at least. I get called all sorts, round school, in town, whereever. The only thing that actually annoys me is when people call me a lesbian or whatever but try and mean it to be insulting, when clearly it's true! If it's true and I am not ashamed of it then why should I find it insulting?
Though labels do indeed suck. I used to hang round with people who listened to rock/metal etc; and therefore I got labelled all the time. Out of that group 4 of us were openly bisexual so we got it even harder at school. I still don't see the point in labels, everyone is an individual.
Wow I've written to much, I was only planning on saying you've written a brilliant essay thing and I agree. lol. See your inspiring! well done xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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WOW!! this is great. i really liked what you were saying. it all makes sense to me. you put every word perfect and you made sense of it. and your right. the gov does label and it is bullshit. i hate the way society is. i mean, i have been out since i was in 7th grade and i never had a problem with people thinking i was any less until i turned 18. then everyone thought they were better then me because i was the outcast. even in my family thats how it was for awhile. my sister was the first outcast because she dates black people and i was the second one because i like girls. then socitey makes it even worse. women and women go in town holding hands and people stare and laugh at them but if a women and a man do it its okay. theres nothing wrong with it. obviously they have their morals fucked up. i hate they way people think they are better. i learned really quick not to care, just to grip onto my g/f tighter and smile at them as they are starring at me. it makes them feel uncomfortable and mad. two can play the same game, you know? but this is a good write. so far i like yours the best and i dont think there is too much more that anyone else can write to beat yours. thank you so much for entering my contest. i love your writing and i hope to hear more from you.
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fbfd
That was super long
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this is so great i really liked it. I hate the word queer, my favorite show on TV right now is Queer As Folk. but I really hate that word. i feel it is like calling black people niggers or white people crakers is a dicrimination. it should be banded from the english language. I am still young but I have never understood labels myself. we are all people that is all we need that is label enough for me people. so not everyone of us is the same Thank God for small favorers. It would be boring if we were all the same, but just because we are different we get labeled. This is a really awsome essay, thank you for entering and good luck.
Kelly Sue -
yeah... i know how you feel i'm bi-sexual with a female preferance... i'm not even gay and everytime i hear someone say queere outside of a GSA meeting its like a dagger in me
i'm not as bad when someone says fag... but yeah queer implys different and LBGTs arent different...
thank you for writing this, awesome read
lily -
What an inspirational piece! I think it's awful how people automatically label people as "diffent" or "like us". Queer is one of the different labels - a form of social categorization that makes it easier for us to understand the world. I myself, don't mind thinking of myself as Queer, but the rainbows, the stereotypes....those hurt! I may like Ani Difranco, fair trade products, organic produce, and be a member of the revolutionary knitting circle - but that's not what makes me lesbian (as the sterotypes insist). I am a girl who likes to sleep with other girls, therefore I am lesbian. Enough is enough already!
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Inspired, driven, and just so damn well written. I'm kinda glad you didn't make this into a poem, cause that would've been one long--- poem!! lol. Seriously though, very great write. I agree with all you've said. But I think that there are some people who are trying to negate the negative connotation that comes with 'queer'... I don't care either way. I am who I am, just as you are who you are. Screw the labels, we won't always be accepted for who we are. And no matter what they call us, it will never change us nor stop us!
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*bows*
this was a wonderful read. i grew up accepting queer as the term. gay we used just as normal slang, not to mean homosexual, and so when i tried to tell people, 'im gay' they just laughed and didn't understand.
and so i went to college and was surrounded with the queer theory and society and caught it up as my power word. i could write home and say 'im queer' hah. and i fit somewhere, and it was wonderful.
and then time went by and i'd had enough of fitting, i wanted to stand out again, i wanted to find me again. and so i stepped away from the label and the obvious declarations of who just one part of me was. and yes, im usually mistaken as a straight individual but im often mistaken for a lot of other things too, and it's just part of who i am.
so while the word still holds the power of a place where i found myself it's also just another one of a million that are me. and it's only because that was the word that was there for me when i was ready for it.
gosh. im rambling too. lol. you've inspired people. great write. -
I totally agree. Why does sociaty feel the need to put a label on everything. Why should a label matter? It just makes people less accepting. Good luck in the contest, you defianantly made your point and deserve a trophy.
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I see no reason to coin anyone as a "queer person". Iin my understanding that term would be used to describe something that is out of the ordinary, weird, or extremely different. Of the gay's and lesbians that I have met, not one appears to look like E.T. to me, nor are any sporting deformities of the mind or body. In fact; all lead lives as any person would, they live in neighborhoods with everyone else, raise children, most even hold professional jobs as well. Queer, in my opinion, would be a derrogatory lable.
I see no reason why anyone should be considered different from the next; I believe all people should be seen as human and equal. In that case, it also means equal rights as well. The right to walk down the street and hold their head high and be proud of what compiles their unique personality.
I have had many pleasant times with people who chose a different sexual orientation than I hold. It is a personal choice, one that should not be regulated by government, church, nor society in general. I have know of more "queer" people that are not coined with the phrase; people who in most cases need more governmental and religious intervention than those that are being discriminated against.
Every era needs to have some group to antagonize and torture. Through human history; there has always been a group that is oppressed have had their human rights abused. I can not explain that personally, except that perhaps it is fear, the fear of what society has yet to learn to uinderstand, the fear of something that isn't personally embraced by one organized theory.
OK, I have rambled on long enough. I agree with your piece and think you have presented a very powerful piece into this contest. Very well written with strong, thought inducing material. Great write, best of wishes and good luck... ~genielassie~ -
I agree with you alot.People need to see that
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I read through this once before wasn't in a good frame of mine to comment. *was kind of intoxicated* So I came back today, and read it again with a clear mind. I can relate to this on the *label* sense. All my life, I been labeled *goth, burnt cracker, punk, and emo*. I mean we, as people, are all unique creative individuals. So why does society has the right to place a *label* on you just so they categorize you in some kind of group that best suite that close-simple minded minds.
Sorry, I ramble and got of the point. I think that was a great Essay. Sounds kind of similar to run that I wrote my first year in college. I wrote on the labels society placed on me. Anyway, great write.
Edited on Apr 16, 1:33 p.m. because 'When I get to ramble and since it's no spell checkers. i tend to make mistakes. so shoot me.
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