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access denied

 

 

 

fingers trip over jumbled keys
and splatter errors across
virtual page

access denied –

you may not proceed

 

 

 

 

 

screen mimics nightfall
as panicked icons
dance along the page

virus alert –
your computer has been infected

 

 

 

 

 

invisible spiders
stitch and snap
electric webs

connection lost –


  f%$k it!

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: using a computer. Aim of the contest: make a simple task complicated.


I thought what problems do I have with my computer....this is the answer. I'm hoping by adding the characters into the next to last word of the poem it doesn't count as swearing lol

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments


  • l0ve
    August 20

    Edit | Reply
    I love the bluntness you put into this, and the end was pretty awesome ;] I'm amazed at the simplicity in it, even as you were complicating the main idea. Wonderful jo!

    Thanks for entering~


  • Deprived-of-Reason
    July 30

    Edit | Reply

    cool!

    haha i thought this was cool. The problems with the computer could easily reflect a situation in life, and initially thats what i thought you were trying to convay. Its kind of an interesting prompt, but i think you did really really well with it and i think you are very talented writer, especially if you can take something like computers and turn it into an amazing poem.
    best of luck to you in the contest and best of luck with your poetry. great job!


  • alpPDCjr12
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    I would change "and splatter errors across" to "and errors splatter across." The way you have it now makes it seem like tripping over the keys causes a virus or something; furthermore read precisely it means that the fingers are splattering them, which seems out of place. Also, I don't know if you meant to have no article in the third line but it messes with the flow a little bit, at least the way I read it. Nice write though


  • l0ve
    July 26
    Edit | Reply
    Your prompt is...

    Using a computer