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Your Happiness and Peace; My Pain

The pain swallows up pride
with each passing second
I feel I could die;
shrivel away inside my mind.

You hold my heart so tightly,
so why does it feel like I'm falling
endlessly
eternally
holding chains that have broken
dropping me deep into my solemn feelings.

I know the answer
it's always unrequited
and I can only dream that one day there'll be another
because marriage for you is just up ahead
and you'll be gone like the other one,
happy
and serene.

Dream on in your perfect world
and be happy,
I hope you stay and be loved
and love
and live eternally with pride.

I'm happy there's such peace in your heart,
I can only ignore the torment in mine,
maybe one day the loneliness I had once abandoned
that has now consumed me once more
can leave me again,
without harming,
unlike before.

Author notes

Wow, who knew I'd write again, ey?

Hmm, it's weird because basically I was in love with a guy for eight years. I knew I wasn't his type and he'd never like me back, though we're mutual friends (he is friends with me but we rarely talk and associate). I managed to get over those feelings only to fall head over heels for another because he was the only guy who noticed me and treated me like a woman. But he married a good friend of mine who was perfect for him and he perfect for her.

But suddenly the feelings came back for the first guy and it made me so depressed an angry because I didn't want to like him. I didn't even know why I liked him. Actually, I think I knew why but didn't WANT to ACKNOWLEDGE it. Know what I mean?

So yeah, I managed to get over him again when he got a girlfriend. But they split soon after as she realised she just cared for him as a friend and I don't think she was ready. I didn't get those feelings again as I knew it was safer to bar any desires of mine. Now he's dating again and it's really strong. They'll get married soon and I hope he'll be happy and that she'll be happy because she's lovely.

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Comments


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    Gah! Well..it's all good and well to be happy for them.. but what about you!? I know your pain here... I've lived through this and it sucks!!! No two ways about it, makes you want to scream. And even more so when the woman they choose is great! Arrghh...

    Great write by the way!

    • Naraku No Hana
      August 14

      Edit | Reply
      I'm okay thanks. I got over it. But now I'm really stressing because now I'm at risk of seriously liking a guy I've met. But I don't want it to happen Because I've met them twice and i'm starting to like him as much as the first guy already!!! D: I want to cry.