by Gregg Rowe
Once I had a dream
When I was stoned
I saw the devil
His mouth salivating
To eat the last
Of the good life
from me
His hands...
Outstretched
Trying,
Trying
To grasp my body
His horns erect
Trying to plunge
Into the depths of my soul
His eyes
Fury red
His breath
Fiery
Burning my body
As he sucked
The last good seed
From me
Once I had a dream
When I was not stoned
I saw my guardian angel
Standing there
Peaceful
Enlightening
Gentle
When she
Reached out
To touch me
An ethereal calmness
Enveloped my body
And I broke
Out in spasms
My heart lifted
My body soaked
From perspirations
My tears
My blood
Trickled in a stream
Down the Inside of
My thigh
Then
I was at peace...
Now
: I
: : am
: : : always
: : : : stoned
Author notes
Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head--Robert Redford "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"
this is a multi-level poem, it first speaks of the angel of death and the angel above, it also speaks about sexuality where the devil is male and the angel is female, and it also speaks about my worst fear, blackness and darkness --ultimate death and not finishing finding myself before I am taken away.
Written February 29th, 1995
In a list
A contest entry
- Poem Sequences by neptune386.
500 points, ended August 11, 2004, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I feel very ill-equipped to even comment on this piece, but just as the other one I've read it brings all the demons I myself fear very close. You use only a couple of "feeling" words (calmness, peace) and yet convey a wealth of emotion in every line. Wonderful, wonderful work. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to reading these.
Best wishes,
~J.
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Awesome background. May I ask where you got it? This verse is flawless. How do I know? Been there before...
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I hadn't read Angels in Disguise Series 2, only the first version. Don't know how I missed it. This one made me cry.
Cheryl -
3/10
....This is fear of what?...>.> Grr...Okay nothing good to say so err..just ignore this comment -
Great Job, Gregg..I may have been beaten with this one...It is wonderful..So full of meanind and emotions..I don't know how you do it..Beautiful in all areas..Flows awesome..I wish you the best of luck in the contest...Much love
Bambie -
Saw the movie, read the book, cried during both versions, powerful and poignant. Glad you liked it also or else you wouldn't be quoting it!
Edited on May 03, 6:06 p.m. because ''. -
"When you learn how to die, you learn how to live." ~ Tuesdays with Morrie. That's a great movie and this was done really well. Don't forget to put a quote in the author's comments! Death is just another adventure we all must experiance. Great write, good luck and blessed be.
~chi -
I really like this. For some reason I dont think people have taken this as seriously as they should. There is obviously some serious emotional theme-age to it. You have obviously had some hard times and this piece shows it. I thank you for showing your feelings with us, and me...
Kayla Dawn -
lol you stoner!!!.... good write dude... keep it up and take care....funny and sad piece here..good luck in the future
~CoRy~ -
Plaqued by creators large and small in our subconscious state
of mind. I prefer the later dream with the angel of peace beside you.
great write with interesting measures...
Tamara
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People fear death because of the unknown, same reasons why they fear life too...
I like this, though I feel it could be intensified in some areas...I think my critiquing cap fell off in the floor after reading that last piece
lets see...hmmm
I'm thinking it is possibly something as simple as form.
Once, I had a dream
When I was stoned;
I saw the devil;
His mouth salivating
[To eat the last
Of the good life
from me]
"eat" seems to be a weak word...consume perhaps?
You really don't need a comma after "Once," but placing one there adds emphasis (sp) and to me makes the poem stronger. More attention grabbing.
A fabulous work in progress, or still fabulous if it is finished. Either way, its your choice. I hope I have helped, if not, I will come back tomorrow cause its way past me bedtime
off to la la land now (hopefully)
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Dang, even in death I shall be molested and raped.
Sorry, I know that wasn't the message of your poem. You was deciphering a dream for all to see. Great Write, hit to close to home. sighs and tries not to think of death
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