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High Coup

Missing image
 

High Coup

 

 

 

 

 

 

There it was  dancing

like a star on a string

like a nearly ripe apple

 

the metaphor

 

nipples hard  voice primed

to spin some rhyme  to

illuminate some conspicuous

 

noun

 

can't reach metaphor

must imbibe

 

there

a nude ballerina  dancing

after a distant star

or a lightning bug  blinking

down the prairie path

 

to the crick

"the path less traveled"

must be the way to Sam's

 

Xanadu

 

 didn't reach the star

but I caught the lightning

 

bug

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Emmyb gold member
    July 30
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely write


  • just mercedes gold member
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    love it, flashes like a lightning bug, splashes me all over the place, like strobe lights you demand attention on this, then this, then this, and the images build up a whole that is more than the sum of its parts.


  • Allyce May gold member
    July 26
    Edit | Reply
    "the metaphor

    nipples hard"

    God, you are so, so good. Don't go anywhere


  • Night Hope gold member
    July 26

    Edit | Reply

    For those puppies among us that may not get the glorious references herein, "Sam" is Samuel Coleridge Taylor (my favorite poem of his has always been "Xanadu"...the group Rush did an awesome tribute to his poem, as well; Neil Peart is such a literally-gifted songwriter...he even composes pantoums as lyrics...& the reference to the lightning bug? "The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between the lightning and the lightning-bug." - Mark Twain... As always, dear Scribe, your writing rocks. And rolls. And sways. And brings fire to the parchment. You catch the metaphor with both hands and the stars shine brightly upon your pate until you're ready to ascend among them. Gorgeousness, you classical rebel, you. Good luck in the contest, my Friend. Sweet Pea



  • Rowan gold member
    July 26
    Edit | Reply
    not only the bug, but my mind as well...
    I love your work.

1 - 5 of 5