If I could write a poem,
I’d pour my heart out to you in a thousand words,
sewn together with clever rhymes
into resounding meters
like the cadence of a song.
I’d appeal to every one of your senses,
compelling you not to just
read the words lain before you,
but to breathe them as if living entities,
accepting them as your own conscience,
and hence, living them.
I’d use imagery to enlighten you
with my utmost desires,
painting you pictures of pure ecstasy,
and so uncovering lust in its richest form.
I’d compose the most
colorful metaphors and similes,
telling you what you are to me
in a hundred different ways and more.
I’d let my passion spill from my heart to my hand,
from my pen to my page
to enrich you with the ardor
in which the fire in me burns.
And between the lines,
you’d find the driving pulse
of my perfect love poem
in no more nor less than 3 simple words.
A contest entry
- Attraction by 2lullabyhaven.
519 points, ended August 16, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - love.. by lake of dremas.
650 points, ended September 25, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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a nice confession ,i like it , it is so sweet
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well done
What a beautiful poem...
"between the lines,
you'd find the driving pulse
of my perfect love poem" - my favorite lines here.
I loved it...
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Wow, this is delicious...
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Nice pen! This is absolutely amazing.
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Uhhhh...I'm kind of at a loss since I generally critique poetry and try to find things to fix in each poem. But, golly, my respect for you skyrocketed after I realized you didn't misspell anything or mangle the grammar. And I'm not even touching the content - you said what you had to say in a concise and clever manner. So, I'm sincerely sorry, but I have no suggestions or critiques.
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NO, it is not cliche`
You described your emotions wonderfully; that is coming from a poet who very rarely will use up thirty seconds of life to read a poem about love. There is nothing wrong with expressing your emotions; sometimes there is just too much writing about. Ha ha, it'll sound like I'm saying there's too much love in the world!!
But no, your poem was actually worthwhile. I do agree with the commenter before me, though, that MAYBE splitting it into different stanzas COULD'VE been better...but I'm not sure.
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i think it should be more like this if you don't mind me saying
A Love Poem
If I could write a poem,
I’d pour my heart out to you
in a thousand words,
sow together with clever rhymes
into resuring meters
like the cadence of a song.
I’d appeal to every one of your senses,
compelling you not to just
read the words lain before you,
but to breathe them as if living entities,
accepting them as your own conscience,
and hence, living them.
I’d use imagery to enlighten you
with my utmost desires,
painting you pictures of pure ecstasy,
and so uncovering lust in its richest form.
I’d string together the most
colorful metaphors and similes,
telling you what you are to me
in a hundred different ways and more.
I’d let my passion spill from my heart to my hand,
from my pen to my page
to enrich you with the ardor
in which the fire in me burns.
And between the lines,
you’d find the driving pulse
of my perfect love poem
in no more nor less than 3 simple words.
i just fixed what i thought should be fixed
i.e.- spelling lines too long ect. -
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thank you sooo much!!
you have no idea how much trouble i was having trying to figure out how to separate the lines! i just couldn't seem to get it right. again, thank you =]
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