I sometimes wonder if there are others
or am I one of a kind,
as I so diligently search my mind,
in some sparse hope that I will find,
what my purpose on this earth truly is.
Each and every day of the week,
into my heart, I probe and I seek,
into every crevice, I rummage and peek,
to get a hint of what I'm all about.
I get lost in a moment that turns to an hour,
as through this confused soul I scour,
dissecting every thought into pieces
to devour,
just to clear the cobwebs in my head.
To decipher the voids, I straddle them
and take a ride,
to try to sate the cravings inside,
that forbid me to decide,
where I want life's journey to take me.
Silently the demons scream, as I
screech and yell.
Into the madness am I buying when
I know not what they sell,
is it my choice to live in this personal hell,
not knowing where it is I belong.
Many tasks I stop before I start,
though desperately wanting to do my part,
not understanding if wisdom will
guide my heart,
to the path that is right for me.
Burdened by fears, I sob, I weep, I cry,
twirling in the dregs of the cesspool called "why",
strangulated by doubt, each day a piece of
me will die,
as I am accosted by this internal strife.
I beseech my sanity not to unwind,
believing that there are still remnants to find,
of the better me that is now left behind,
wondering if I exist to care or care to exist.
Is it that I have been rendered numb,
am I truly lost or maybe merely dumb,
not processing if I must really remain mum,
while the boils of life fester all around.
So, while I find myself alone in a crowd,
do I continue to deny myself
the life I'm allowed,
or walk around clueless with my head bowed,
repeating the mantra of "woe is me".
I lift my eyes to the skyline and I pray,
thank you dear Father for the
miracle of a new day,
as you grant me the choice of a better way,
I now know from whom my blessings flow.
Marjorie
Joyce
Leslie 07/26/09
Bronze trophy winner
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