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Body-bag

-
I can't tell if this is my heart beating
or if it's the rhythm of your fingers
pounding on my ribcage trying to figure out
which part of me is worth living
and how much of me you should throw away


I wish I knew how to laugh along at your lopsided humor
and actually get the joke for once. But sometimes I get this feeling
like there's something gnawing on my shoulders
Only to turn around and realize
It's just you laughing again
As you scale through my eardrum and encase my brain in melancholy
And I forget why I wasn't laughing along to begin with

Maybe that's because I'm usually the joke



Sometimes I want to sink my teeth into your
Black and blue lullabies and forget for a moment
That I'm not really a princess, and that you're not really a prince
and let myself feel like Snow White & feel my lips across yours
and not have to fear if you'll bite me in return



sometimes when I wake in the middle of the night
I see your face and wonder if your're just
another glittered nightmare that I want to trap myself in
or if your this disillusioned, filtered dream filled with nothing but
your hands on my throat and the burning in the pit of my stomach
making me wonder if you'll embrace me with butterfly kisses or
choke out my last words like you've been doing
for the past, present, and future



so now I'm dropping forget-me-not's into my coffee
and you're taking the highway fast from my life
and you don't even look back at me
before the first signs of my heart cracking come into view
and i'm just your pick me down in the morning after
you've dug through my head all night and you've

thrown out all the worthless parts into the body-bag
I've had lined up waiting in my backyard

and now I'm just this little piece of your perfect woman

and I can't find the space to breathe as I bury my own flesh

Say a prayer and beg that for once in my sardonic lifeYou'd give me a little room in that stitched up heart of yours

But, as I'm standing here alone

I can't help recall that despite my broken bones

And my super-glued together scars
To you, I'm just not worth the time

To even say goodbye


♥ ♥ ♥

Author notes

Pretty girls make graves

A contest entry

Comment if you wish.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • george the 23rd
    August 21

    Edit | Reply
    This was very nicely written, and a good take on the prompt as well.
    The emotional tone of your piece was very clear throughout, the taken-for granted lover, the "insider as outsider" angle, coupled with the pressure to conform and to change for another person.
    My only critique comes in the form of a few well meaning but clumsy metaphors, and awkward line structure.
    But overall, with some minor editing and rearranging, this piece could be more concise and powerful.
    Thank you for entering


  • Evenstar gold member
    July 26
    Edit | Reply
    This was strong,and expressive and i really liked reading it. You might want to use spell check on one word,or just to check.but i really can not give a critique on this...it was just really good,so i can't see anything bad about it. It's relatable,and the analogies you used accurately described these common feelings of use and neglect,and more.amazing write. = )


  • Devoted Huntress
    July 25

    Edit | Reply
    It's like reading a girl's confession before she ends her life. As if everything, she finally realized, was not worth it all despite what she feels. A mystery in of itself. I have no clue what more words can describe this poem, but I know it enchanted me as I read it... as if it was I saying those things. I don't know, it's weird. This poem just feels like it is something that goes through my head as if it made itself a part of me as I read from first word to last.

    Wonderful hun.