Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Untitled

Falling into darkness
never moving on
never seeing light again
can't ever see the dawn,

wanting more than living dark
hoping more than light
knowing less than both you wish
having less delight,

Death comes to us quickly
to an unsuspecting eye
knowing living was a bore
we still can't help but pry,

At our lives did we gamble
letting time fly by
little did we know of death
or how we all would die.

Author notes

This is actually one of my older poems when i first was really introduced into poetry. I wrote this in 8th grade and this is actually the edited version...it used to be a bit more choppy and longer...but i love how it turned out.

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • XxLuckyxX
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is a truly excellent piece. I was enthralled as I read it, hooked from beginning to end. I think the flow is excellent and your word choices are great. For a poem written by a ninth grader, though you have edited it since, it is very deep and thought provoking. I absolutely love the way you ended it, with such an absolute truth. Keep up the amazing work.


  • RacinThePen
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is a very powerful, insightful, poem about death. To some people, death is nothing more than a concept that can never quite be explored unless you're exposed to it. It really makes you want to dig down deep within yourself and I don't know... change your mind about some things. And gain a better perspective on things that most don't think often about.. Great Write.