is it me?

beign creative
is what people have always told me i am

creating what i see,
what i think
what i feel.

i dont' know what's inside me
bringing out this pure evil.

a beak of diamond sharp accuracy
tearing and ripping apart my person.

talons of cured sharpened steel
that i have seen cut pure existence in twain.

i run as fast as i can
screaming for help.

no one can help me
no one hears.

how did i create this monstrosity?
why did my heart want this?

i'm not an evil person,
i love the people i'm supposed to...

i'm sorry for what i've done
to myself
to deserve this pain.

waking up
is the only release i get
from myself,
this demon that i have created.

being creative
is it worth the pain?

once again
from the pit of my heart
which i am sttarting to doubt is even my own,
i'm sorry.
i want it to end.
i need it to end.
this is me,
on my knees,
unable to sleep
for fear of myself.
begging for forgiveness from myself.