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The walls they remember me.
They close in around me...smothering me.

I gasp for fresh air but I'm met with stale lucidity.

Pictures of mom and dad adorn the walls.
Warning: Reflections in the picures may hurt more than they appear.

A red dot states that you are here.
Followed by a hecklers cackle devoid of cheer.

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    July 27
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to Allpoetry

    This is sad... the words show such fear and even a little resentment (in their hurting more then they appear)

    It's possible that years later, wounds still cut deep. You've shown this in a classy way.

    Welcome to Allpoetry
    I hope that you enjoy the site, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask
    I encourage you to comment others and generate activity for yourself!

    Good job, keep writing.


  • karma-n-peace
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    "I gasp for fresh air but I'm met with stale lucidity"

    I love th poem but this one line is what packed the biggest punch.
    The words brought the whole poem together for me, seriously awesome imagery and the metaphor is great.

    Very sad read and you express this emotion well in this write.

    Welcome to AP