my bones laugh at me behind a mirror
while the damn mirror lies to my face;
a couple of bullying schoolchildren.
I go on not understanding the joke
and slowly kill myself to find out what
they find so fucking funny
Author notes
41 words.
prompt:
Anorexia by vm0572, deviantart
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A contest entry
- Night time quickie # 2 by perfectsunset.
625 points, ended July 28, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is a well written piece, my darling! I rather enjoyed it.
The only thing that bithers me is the first two lines:
"my bones laugh at me behind a mirror
while the damn mirror lies to my face;"You overuse the word "mirror". Perhaps if you rewrote it, it could read something more like this:
"my bones laugh at me behind a
damned mirror that lies to my face"
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Wow; I absolutely LOVED that ending,
the whole poem was spectacular and
originally conveyed, but the ending..
wow... held a little more emphasis
and power; really drew the point
across--- BRIGHT and BOLD.
Love your take on the prompt!
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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I don't know whether to laugh or cry. LOL. Whatever, this is a fun piece to read.
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