virtue dies [Trois-par-Huit]

Distilled thoughts
as this twisted mind rots
inside its beloved porcelain shell.

Moments filtered with lucidity, rise and swell
unleashing demons ripped from the depths of hell,

foreboding whitewashed over dull eyes.
Under the weeping skies,
virtue dies.

Author notes

Form: Trois-par-Huit [My first attempt at this form]

Three stanzas, combinations possible: 3-3-2 or 3-2-3, a total of eight lines and has the rhyme scheme of a a b b b c c c regardless of the combination chosen. Syllable count 3,6,9,12,12,9,6,3. The last line is the title of the piece.

In a list

Dark/Twisted • next in list
Form Poetry • next in list
Bling: Writes That Have Won Trophies • next in list

A contest entry

Fight for the Gold: Prewrites Unlimited #1 by amaranthine lover. 27500 points, ended August 28, 185 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Form Poetry --- II by rinzurajan. 700 points, ended November 1, 56 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

What did you think - good or bad

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
rinzurajan
November 1
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thats an interesting form...wasnt aware of it...

thanks and good luck
amaranthine lover
August 24

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21.1 / 25
I like the ambiance it portrays, but for you specifically, I really don't think you and the form clash all that much. Sorry, just being honest. I've seen better and stronger from you.
Griswold
July 30

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Very nicely done for your first Troi-par-huit, i do love to write in this form and I have not done one for a while, I need to correct that soon. Thank you very much for taking the time to enter the "Fight for the Gold" contest
SteveS
July 24
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Love it. Gloomy and ominous. Every line is great so I won't highlight any.
J Macabre
July 24
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You write so beautifully,Ann. Some of them have a sad aura to them...and most times i hope your really not as sad as the words you pen.
awannabepoet
July 24
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Oh how sweet it is to find a new way of expressing ones very own self, I really liked this little poem of yours what a vaillant effort on a first try as well.