We chose to stroll in summer’s shade
instead of boarding trolley line
to city pool where waters bade
us dive and play in cool blue-shine.
Instead of boarding trolley line
we saved our dimes for treasured treats.
After our swim in cool blue-shine
we sought out shop for penny sweets.
We saved our dimes for treasured treats
longed for through dreary winter’s hold.
We sought out shop for penny sweets;
at corner laundry; sugared-gold!
Longed for through dreary winter’s hold,
confections for a penny each.
At corner laundry; sugared-gold
in crowded jars just out of reach.
Confections for a penny each;
Smarties, Bulls-Eyes, Nik-L-Nips,
in crowded jars just out of reach,
string licorice and Pixy Stix.
Relished Bulls-Eyes, Nik-L-Nips,
from city pool where waters bade,
string licorice and Pixy Stix,
as we strolled home in summer’s shade.
Joyce Josephson
Modified Pantoum
instead of boarding trolley line
to city pool where waters bade
us dive and play in cool blue-shine.
Instead of boarding trolley line
we saved our dimes for treasured treats.
After our swim in cool blue-shine
we sought out shop for penny sweets.
We saved our dimes for treasured treats
longed for through dreary winter’s hold.
We sought out shop for penny sweets;
at corner laundry; sugared-gold!
Longed for through dreary winter’s hold,
confections for a penny each.
At corner laundry; sugared-gold
in crowded jars just out of reach.
Confections for a penny each;
Smarties, Bulls-Eyes, Nik-L-Nips,
in crowded jars just out of reach,
string licorice and Pixy Stix.
Relished Bulls-Eyes, Nik-L-Nips,
from city pool where waters bade,
string licorice and Pixy Stix,
as we strolled home in summer’s shade.
Joyce Josephson
Modified Pantoum
Author notes
I'm nostalgic for those small paper bags crammed with prized treats
we clutched on our walk home from the municipal pool.
They were worth every step!
My first Pantoum
Thanks to JeannieD Hunter for this perfect background. 
In a list
- Form Poetry: Pleiades, Haiku, Etheree, etc. • next in list
- Accepted Poems for the 2009 OVW Anthology • next in list
- Memories • next in list
A contest entry
- Summer Fun, Family And Vacation, Bandits Only Contest by BluesMan.
3500 points, ended August 11, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Memories by x0charlie-redhead0x.
1000 points, ended October 16, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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this is so COOL!! i LOVE the format. how creative and beautiful
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I found this Summer Fun Pantoum to be delightful!
Candy is a natural high point for a child to anticipate and enjoy during summer activities. You stirred many memories of long past summers and put a smile on my face, the penny candy store is a treasure trove for any sweet tooth. Thanks for sharing your perspective and talent in this Bandit contest, your participation is appreciated. 
Brother dennis


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A wonderful Pantoum that brought back nostalgic memories of my own youth. I remember penny candies which I spent all of my 25 cent allowance on. Your form was eccellent until the second line of the last stanza. The challange of this form is not being forced to modify. I know the anguish you felt when you reached the last stanza. It happened to me as well I spent another hour
re-writing to make the puzzel pieces fit. Other than that one line this is a beautifully written Pantoum. Thank you for entering the Bandits Only Contest.
Bill

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Delightful stroll down those sunny sidewalks and joys of yesteryear! Outstanding abab rhyme and great imagery.
Excellent use of repeating form, as those days repeated blissfully over the bee-buzzing season!


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Oh My Word~
Now You made me Hungry
Yummoooooo...
and Adore this Pantoum for You made it look so easy also
brought visuals to satiate the palate
Appreciate Your visit to my work~
That JeannieD is a Doll...Love her BG too
You go Jeannie

Added that extra touch to this fine piece
Thank You for sharing Your Talent

Best wishes in the contest
with love & light~ Desire~*~


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Wow, how impressive! I can remember thinking these
machines held the greatest treasure, and you have
captured that well in the poem! I really like this form
but know I could never master it. Your write does
my background justice! Thank you for using it.
They are a perfect match!
Jeannie


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I love this clever, Fun, nostalgic piece of remembered pleasure to almost all the people of the earth . who didn't crave those jars, "just out of reach. Most of my childhood was at war and they were few and far between treats, but not any more I am ashamed to say. well wrought with such clarity.


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Congratulations on your first pantoum. You did a wonderful job with the rhyme and repeating lines. Thank you for taking us on this magical trip to the candy store. I am amazed that anything could be purchased for a penny. I am a big fan of string licorice, but I have never heard of the other candies. My generation was raised with packaged goods, and we didn't have the fun of trying different candy samples. Salt water taffy and homemade fudge were the candies of my youth, and I still love them today. It is always a pleasure to read the work of a fellow Bandit. Peace, Liz


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i so can feel this! i remember those days so well! does this age you or me? excellent write` great rhythm and rhyme filled with vivid imagery. truly a delight to read! keep writing poet! God bless you always >


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Wonderful! A great tribute to small tradoffs in life and the value of working for your sweets. I loved reading this. Good specimen for your first try!

Paul

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We had a small grocery/soda shop on the way home. They sold penny candies like pixie sticks ... Now I just fill a straw with kool-aid, fold up one end and I have my own LOL. We also had a small hamburger stand. Nothing tasted so good as a hamburger and chips after swimming. yummm. Thanks for the memories. I really like that bg.
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What a great idea for the homemade Pixy Stix! My son insisted that I buy Kool-aid,
then picked out a flavor he found that he didn't like. I figure I'll still have it in ten to twenty years, or it'll be buried it in a time capsule...
Thanks for the comment, and your memories. Now I'm hungry!
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Lmao indeed a nice job. Enjoyed this piece Sis,
good luck in the contest.
Love
Tory

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Thank you, Sis!
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