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i am a tye-dyed river.

this is why i'm not copper-sulphate blue and why i don't know which way north is.



one.
i have a scar on my back that is zero point three centimeters wide and is as long as my gaze is when i'm tired. it's lighter than my skin but it's darker than the man who made it.



two.
i want to be beautiful. i'm not. i don't know if that's a secret.

i'm just a girl with an obsession with words and a penchant for standing behind neon lights for hours and waiting to see if maybe i could absorb the flashing colors until i become an explosion of matter and energy.

the thing is,
so is everyone else.



three.
sometimes i get tired when i'm hurtling through the exosphere struggling to breathe and burning out in yellow-green flames. i want to slow down and look at the rest of the world and open my eyes and cry out and cry in and i want to need something and not

fallfallfall

f
a
l
l
.



four.
i still don't know how to get from home to school on my own. i can't light the gas or the burner in the chemistry lab.
i'm scared that one day i'll wake up and two plus thirty will equal thirty-two. i have never seen a shooting star or a robin and i have nineteen imaginary friends. i can't dance and i get bored of most people in an average of two and a half months. i lie a lot.

i'm scared that the world will forget me.



five.
sometimes i like sadness more than happiness. i think sad things are beautiful and that if we were all broken, we could mix up our pieces and nobody would know who they were anymore.

i would like that.



six.
i don't know what love is. i try and define it as the way i would wait for him until lightning turned vermilion or as the way he makes me want to clutch my legs to my chest and rock back and forth until i can understand why he's so goddamn beautiful.
i try and shove it into heart shaped boxes and tornado shaped dreams but the truth is it's bigger than me

and i don't know what it is.



this is why i'm the left-over girl with stars stamped onto her fingernails and sixties music coming out of her toes.

Author notes

c i r q u e
d u
s o l e i l

my first poem - http://allpoetry.com/poem/2581914

A contest entry

Please help me make this better!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • wave1080
    September 23
    Edit | Reply

    Awww !

    Such a beautiful write dear and guess what ?even I speak hindhi ..


  • Not-The-Sun silver member
    September 13

    Edit | Reply
    "i have a scar on my back that is zero point three centimeters wide and is as long as my gaze is when i'm tired. it's lighter than my skin but it's darker than the man who made it.



    two.
    i want to be beautiful. i'm not. i don't know if that's a secret."

    that part amazed me : )

    I lovelovelove this part: "i'm scared that the world will forget me. "
    because I feel that way too;

    i really just like the style and tone that you have in this, honestly. your words are straight forward and in some parts they have the necessary adjectives and in other parts you hardly use adjectives at all, which is nice because then the reader can focus on your attitude and emotions in this; awesome work! congrats on the very-well-deserved trophies


  • emma...
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is absolutely gorgeous. You have improved sooooooooooooooooooooo much; not only is this more complex, emotional, and original, I can tell you've gotten more serious about writing. Truly amazing write. This line is so powerful;
    i'm scared that the world will forget me.
    Incredible job. I want to add you as a favorite
    Thanks for entering, and good luck


  • August Starlight silver member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    "i'm scared that one day i'll wake up and two plus thirty will equal thirty-two"
    -- that made me stop reading. i read contest entries out loud.

    "i try and shove it into heart shaped boxes and tornado shaped dreams but the truth is it's bigger than me"
    -- wowowoww.

    <3.

    thanks for entering!


  • etoile
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    I cannot say yes enough.
    this is absolutely beautiful
    lol looks like julia said it enough for the both of us


  • dieu.
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes

    a million yeses.

    sorry if the comment is annoying, i felt the urge to write it that many times. (:


  • ladybug.
    August 4

    Edit | Reply
    This wowed me. It's not often that I can openly be like, "whoa, that poem was the shit" but you managed to impress every poetic morsel in my mind(: not that there is many, but still.


    this is why i'm the left-over girl with stars stamped onto her fingernails and sixties music coming out of her toes.

    I'm not sure why I liked that so much, but I think that is one of my favourite lines from any poem I've read. Thank you so much for this.


  • Vertigo-
    August 1
    Edit | Reply
    This is fantastic I especially loved 3 beautifully written


  • e m i l y
    July 29
    Edit | Reply
    I've read this poem before, probably in Aanika's contest, because I loved reading her entries. And I was amazed by your work. It's just so painful and sad, and you did an amazing job with imagery. Plus, your words were just so powerful. Great job.

    Good luck,
    e m i l y


  • alaska.
    July 26
    Edit | Reply
    yes x100000000.
    this was amazing and so easy to relate to.

  • sotanosister
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    I like the intense images you provoke. And as time goes on I think, I hope, we all discover more how wonderful life is. Do you ever read Kahlil Gibran? (forgive please if I spelled his name wrong)--- We can only know happiness to the extent that sorrow has carved out our soul. Thanks for sharing


  • new born
    July 25
    Edit | Reply
    poets anonymous:
    yes. yesyesyesyes.

    I loved this, I could relate so well.
    please wait for the other judges to comment.

  • e m i l y
    July 24

    Edit | Reply
    I love your style of writing. I think I've seen it somewhere else too,
    but it's got something a little different because you've written it.

    I have to say, this is a lovely poem.

    one.
    i have a scar on my back that is zero point three centimeters wide and is as long as my gaze is when i'm tired. it's lighter than my skin but it's darker than the man who made it.

    I really liked this stanza. I'm not sure if it was just the perfect beginning
    or just the part I admired most.

    Anyway, good luck in all the contests you entered.

    -Emily

  • Writing0Freedom
    July 24
    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing!

    (I wanted to give you kudos)

  • Writing0Freedom
    July 24

    Edit | Reply
    I'm favoriting you- at the end of the contest, , this might very well be my gold. So far it is- this is stunning and amazing. Wow , omg! This is going into my column. for sure. Wow
    WritingFree


  • Candy Morphine
    July 24

    Edit | Reply
    as long as my gaze is when i'm tired
    -oh freaking amazing similie. that is such a brilliant, brilliant comparision as it is just FREAKING AMAZING.

    it's lighter than my skin but it's darker than the man who made it.
    -woah. that whole stanza is just powerful, powerful, powerful.

    maybe i could absorb the flashing colors until i become an explosion of matter and energy
    -i like that imagery and language. it flows really nicely and it's just a really good line :]

    the thing is,
    so is everyone else.
    -fuck. i love that.

    when i'm hurtling through the exosphere struggling to breathe and burning out in yellow-green flames sometimes i want to slow down and look at the rest of the world and open my eyes and cry out and cry in and i want to need something and not
    -woah. massive sentence. maybe remove 'sometimes' and break into different sections.


    i'm scared that one day i'll wake up and two plus thirty will equal thirty-two.
    -i cannot even begin to describe how that makes me feel. i guess its like flying, like soaring through the air then crashing and burning. favourite line.

    i'm scared that one day i'll wake up and two plus thirty will equal thirty-two.
    -wahhhh. i'm writing this all down as i read because it's just excellent. this whole poem is so emotive and fucking brilliant that i can't stop reading.

    i've read a lot of entries in this contest, even entered. but i think yours is my favourite. it's a hard call, but i think it is.

1 - 21 of 21