Sandy and I sat in the break room that long ago morning, trying to maintain even levels of caffeine and nicotine in our blood before we rushed back to our cubicles and stacks of reports. We had done this a million times.
That particular morning, we had been swamped, so we were a little later than usual getting to our smoke break. The break room was empty, which was not the norm. The hum of vending machines was the only sound in there. We looked out the window with our coffee and cigarettes blazing. It was silent. Way too quiet for me. I'm not comfortable with silence, so I started talking, just a little stream of consciousness thing to fill the void. To this day, I don’t remember what it was I was talking about. But I remember what Sandy said when I finished.
“Honey…”, she said. Only it was “Huuuuhhhneeeee,” in her thick Texanese. Yew pur thang, yer crazy as a bessie bug. Oh, mah Lard. Ma Aint Anna Mae used to talk jest lak yew after Jacky Ray died. We thought we’d hafta put that pore womin in a home.”
This response stunned me. I couldn’t even remember what I had said. I’d lived alone a lot of years and was given to talking to myself. What had I said that sounded crazy to this lady I speak with everyday?
“Here’s what yew otter do, Huuuhneee. Whin yew git home, drank ya some tea. Then git that phone book an’ findjew a psychytrist. Then stop tawkin’ lak this at tha baink. Most people don’t understand. They might cause yew as much trouble as a tic on a fat dawg if they find out yur crazy.
That was, oh, 15 years ago. I still don’t remember what I said.
Author notes
Image and Title Credit: "Two Women Smoking" by Gary Pearson, oil on canvas
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1 - 10 of 10
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i have a couple of friends where this sort of just talkin' thing occurs. fortunately, they share the same illness of thought, so no psychiatric referral has been deemed necessary to date.
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Ah nyew thar was a raisin Ah loiked yew...
N Ah nevah trist a shrink. Waih Thar gettin paid to tail you whot you wanna heyear... -
The stream of consciousness part was familiar to me! It is possible to reveal far too much of one's inner workings when trying to fill an uncomfortable gap.....
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One of my greatest struggles is keeping my mouth shut!
Thanks,
Camille
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This is awesome! You write into that accent so well...Of course, readers have no choice but to read aloud for the effect, so I reckon y'all be fixin to write smoor a dat fine poetry of yers.
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LOL!
We Southerners often think that anyone NOT from the Southern US is nuts.
They don't speak, talk or act as we do.
They're different critters.
Probably you just forgot that one syllable words in Southernese are usually two or three syllables. Speaking without that accent and speaking fast makes us all believe y'all are nuts.
How weird is that? hehehe
Debbie
P.S.
I've missed talking to you, my friend.
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I miss you, too, my friend. Are you alright?
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Sorry, forgot to clap
G
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Thank you!
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Big Smile
That's a good thought. What did the shrink say?
G
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