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Make Up My Mind

Lacerate, eviscerate me,
put me back together;
tear my world asunder,
then heal me with a word.

Repeating false truths
in another's voice,
remind me how we're all
so fake;
showing just enough,
getting off, then going home.

I can't take back "I love you"--
would I if I could?--
but I can add
how much you hurt me,
with your luminous eyes and
Cheshire smile.

I don't know if I'm worth
more or less--
but I feel stagnant and
unfulfilled, always
waiting, wishing, wanting,
confused and insecure.

Build me up or tear me down, but please
don't toss that ball to me,
I wouldn't know what to do.
I'm lost; take my hand,
and show me the way.

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