My Numb Love

Dear love,

I've spent weeks and days and hours attempting to articulate the wonderful aches you cause in my chest; the fluttering joy deep in the pits of my soul. I need you to understand the burning yearning you've created within me, how I crave the warm sensations of your bare skin against mine. I love you with every millimeter of my existence. I can't even begin to imagine a life with you,  when you've already given me eternal happiness and gratitude and joy and.. life.  I can't sleep some nights because dreams and hopes of you smother the fatigue from my body, and all I can think about is the safety your arms provide. I have an ever-lasting ache in my heart, because I  understand that our love won't lead to anything. I understand that the hushed promises we whisper into the cold night air are hopeless, yet are filled with bitter hope. And I know that when you say "I love you", I quiver with joy. I know that I lay in bed dreaming of the wonderful fulfillment seeping into my skin as you pushed deeper and deeper into me, your lips pressed gently to mine as you moan with satisfaction. I want to feel complete estacy as I squirm and beg for more. I want you in my life so badly, I want you to know how badly I need you to be mine.
But we lost our chances long ago, and now there's always going to be something tearing us apart; keeping you from me as I desperately cling to the remnants of hope, kept alive by the figments of your memory that haunt my mind. We will always be seperated by a computer screen, the beeping of a dying phone, the goddamn border that has been forced between us. Yet, I still pray that one day God will take pity on me and bring you home, to the warmth and safety my arms can provide for you. I'll always hopelessly love you, because the aching pain and numb love you create in my heart remind me that I'm alive. It's almost as though my heart beats for you.
I love you, and I always will.
Yours truly,
K. Fajardo