A little china doll, fond as I am,
Not mine, no, I would never presume.
Such a precious beautiful thing,
Should remain untouched, loved but untouched.
Human hands, such dreadful things.
Spoil and break and bend to their will.
Why must they own, control, have?
And in doing so destroy what they seek?
Because human hands destroy.
Even with the best intentions they destroy.
That little china doll is broken,
Because someone had to carry her.
Little doll, not so fragile to easily break.
Just manipulated so cruelly,
Eventually bent to human will.
As even the strongest ore does.
Stupid clumsy hands that grip.
If they'd only let go,
Their desires won't fly away.
But they don't, maybe can't, understand.
She could not be just loved.
No, someone had to man handle her, break her.
She can be fixed, she will be fixed.
But why should it have to be?
Leave the little china doll to herself.
Love her, but don't handle her, hands are clumsy.
Hands crush, and drop, and smash.
Don't break her, just love her.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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nicely shaped...
looks good i must say .... used a lot of poetic devices which os a charecteristic of a mature poet.... wish it had run longer -
Enjoy the metaphor in this poem. You did a good job in writing it in a convicting and poignant manner. The only thing I would do is review some of the comma use as there were points where they weren't grammatically needed. However if you strategically put them there to create the pauses then I can understand.
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Interesting
I like the theme of this poem a lot and the ideas and imagery. Just feel that it needs a bit of work to make it flow more smoothly off the tongue. Keep up the good work scribe!!
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This is well put. Your last line in the poem sums it all up. I see no major revisions. Maybe set the poem aside and read it in a day or two and see how it sounds then. I believe it is "manhandle" not man handle; unless you are playing with the word.Good luck in your writing,
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amazing
this is definitely one of my favorites
i like the 3rd stanza
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