The sandy stump

There's a guy walking along Kaiteriteri beach on a beautiful, hot sunny Sunday morning.

The sun's just been up long enough for the mercury to hit 25degrees, and a few early risers ponder the footpath.

The man comes a cross a woman on the sand.

He says - 

  'Tell me, why are you crying?'

She looks back at him with her puffy red eyes, sodden with tears and says -

'I'm 25 years old, I've got no arms and legs, and no-one's ever told me I'm beautiful.'

He takes a second look at the lady in the sand and realizes that indeed - she has no arms and legs.

You see, this man is a true gentleman. Like every true gentleman, when addressing a lady he would never look below her chin.

The poor crying woman notices his fresh surprise at her remark, and with this revelation of pure inten,  instantly grows in warmth toward this tall stranger with all his limbs intact.

But still she cries.

'Tell me, fair maiden; why do you cry?'

She gazes once more upon his caring face -

'I'm 25 years old, I have no arms and legs, and I've never been kissed.'

The man considers his situation for a moment.

Here is a woman who he truly believes, despite having no arms and legs, to be a beautiful woman - as a true gentleman, he could not have said so, had it not been true.

She is also a woman who is obviously feeling great emotional hardship at having never experienced the sensation of another's lips lightly gracing her own.

He concluded that it is his duty to provide a well intentioned and respectful kiss to the sad lady, and to do it with sufficient passion for her to cherish it always as the perfect first kiss.

He stoops, and kisses her deeply and passionately on the lips.

Still she cries.

The man is at a loss to imagine what could possibly bring such great sadness to such a fine creature, who had very recently experienced two of life's most precious moments -



'Tell me, what is so bad that still you cry so?'

Once again, she answers softly -

'I'm 25 years old, I have no arms and no legs, I am blind, and no-one has ever made love to me.'

The man doesn't hesitate.

He picks her up, throws her in the ocean and says -

'You're fucked now, aren't ya?'