If you only knew
The pain I go through
Each and every single day
You would send some light, shining my way
If you only imagine
The techniques I fathom
Just to get through life
It's a great sacrifice
If you only care
What I share
It would mean alot
If I got caught
If you only realize
My life's only prize
Is the acceptance and love
As if from a great turtle dove
If you only shine
And be out on the line
To experience my day
You would shine some light, heading my way
Author notes
7-22-09
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Comments
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This is a good write but I have some suggestions:
"As if from a great turtle dove"
this here is forced just thrown in there to rhyme with "love" but it isn't needed, I would take it out, it wouldn't hurt the poem at all to omit it. Same for the line that ends with "sacrifice" and the line that ends with "caught" That would give you three middle 3-line stanzas and 2 outer 5-line stanzas. As my next suggestion would be don't force yourself to 4 lines in the first and last stanza. I would break at the comma.
Thanks for sharing!
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