1. Hold fast to love
Hold fast to love, its gravity defies
the measurements of man, the cold abyss
where eagles thrash with chickens’ flightless cries,
and words are forced in mouths of prophets, bliss
of stains upon the snow of dreams, names
of gun and ruby games against the heart,
smart rubicons and empty plains –
false endings for each start.
Here are heavy feathered wings,
enough for love –
hold fast and fly.
2. Under the gaze of innocence
When children lock their hands in strong embrace
and sharp light cuts between the folding clouds
these words become mere dust, and then erase.
Bright stately kites patrol the summer’s face
as ushers for the beach and picnic crowds
when children lock their hands in strong embrace.
When atoms spin, pin-perfect in their race
to rhyme with aching music, mute or loud
these words become mere dust, and then erase.
The colours of the seasons set their place;
farewells are given, living to the shroud,
when children lock their hands in strong embrace.
When peas and potted plants come on apace
and burst upon a fullness, bright and proud
these words become mere dust, and then erase.
Rise high for we are butterflies in space
with just one day before our star is ploughed.
When children lock their hands in strong embrace
these words become mere dust, and then erase.
3. Sigh upon reflection
And I rose
as grace upon a widow,
lace between her roughened hands,
rainbows riding through the tears
to promise some reunion.
And I rose
as all the world’s dark beauty fell away
refined by rain, stained
by lightest dust of stars,
touched by heaven’s hand.
And I rose
as if this simple pen was sword
to bind the fates, to blind
their selfish lightning strikes
if only with my shadow.
And I rose
as Icarus
towards the sun
believing in myself
and the wax that held the feathers firm.
Author notes
Contest Prompt:
“Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea.”
- Dylan Thomas, Fern Hill
http://allpoetry.com/opoem/7175-Dylan-Thomas-Fern-Hill
In a list
- A List: When only the best will do (and here they are) • next in list
- TO STUDY: Villanelle • next in list
- Anthology for Me (uncategoried items) • next in list
A contest entry
- three on a match... by Peteskid.
2250 points, ended July 26, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I was referred here to read brilliance,
and I was not disappointed. The entire sequence leaves me feeling
. The tones between the poems are consistent and weave together well to yield a more complex experience than using repetitions of one form would.
In Section 1, I most enjoyed "Here are heavy feathered wings, / enough for love – / hold fast and fly." The Villanelle is divine. I particularly enjoyed the deep, reflective meanings and how the meanings varied with each use of the repeated lines. The switch of repetition to the first lines in the third section helped anchor a sense of completion of a sequence for me, with each stanza an elaboration.
IMO, this is an extremely well done three-part sequence, well deserving of a Gold. Very well done, poet.
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beautiful
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dylan Thomas
You have a Dylanesc sense of poetry. You create such beautiful prose Pastiche; very polished and the reads have a wonderful new feeling to them; though Spring returns every year, it is never the same...in speaking of form....i love it.
Darmok
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this has great imagery and a very interesting concept. the flow was smooth and your rhyme was natural. great write!
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A Song of Transcendence
The perennial edge of knowing; innocence versus corruption, is the artist's quest, and only total love transcends and brings brief understanding. Bravo! -
Bravo! Standing in applause!
Oh drop to my knees and weep ...
You have, as always, written most brilliantly. Your title captured me and then I saw the contest and thought - oh indeed. Yes yes yes indeed.
Your Villanelle is particularly striking and moving for me with such strong anchors in your repeating lines.
And I loved: Rise high, for we are butterflies in space - oh my goodness. Just lovely with the images presented.
I am always awed by your wonderful work. A pleasure to read and enjoy. *sigh* Just a pleasure. ~Pamela 
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Absolutely beautiful. I found this poem to be very deep as you talk about the simplest form of life but with great meaning to it.
It's a great read. Best of luck. -
Excellent
This is a very fine write, indeed, You have expressed your thoughts quite well.Thank you for sharing this one with us. Again well done. -
Oh yes, this is great poetry. I love the 'seed' poem, and I admire the way you have developed themes from it through the three poems. My favourite is the villanelle, but the strength and passion of 'hold fast to love' calls forth a strong response from me. I also admire the cycle of the poems, and the turn back of the final to the first. Seamless.
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In Brasil there is a bald chicken that will rival an eagle. It's common name is a baldy. They are fiercely maternal. Cool imagery on your part.
Under the gaze of innocence is really well done.
"When atoms spin, pin-perfect in their race"
That's brilliant.
Sigh upon reflection is my favorite part.
Great imagery all around.
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This is a gorgeous response to the prompt, Scribe. Each part was a worthy entry in & of itself; taken together, they were a feast for your reader's eyes. Very brave & fine of you, to take on Dylan, no less. Of course, being who & what I am, I did prefer your free verse, especially its ending line. Good luck in PK's contest, my Friend.
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I'm lousy at comments anymore, so this promises to be useless lol...
First read-through, I liked it, but was thrown off by the villanelle. I love the form, but I don't think I was reading it right. Second time through was better; I slowed down and mulld over the lines, read according to the punctuation instead of the line breaks..that made all the difference. Some parts of this stirred me very much. I enjoy the connection between children you made.
the cold abyss
where eagles thrash with chickens’ flightless cries,
such a unique idea, I don't know what to think of it yet lol. (long pause for serious contemplation) oh, ok, I totally get it; that's fairly brilliant actually. There is a double effect with the imagery as well, both the picture of it in my mind, and the way the words collide together...I don't know if you intended that, but it's top-notch.
words forced into the mouths of prophets..there's an interesting idea. well said. It'd take me a paragraph to explain it, and that'd take all the fun out of it....moving on
The myth of Icarus is always a compelling one, romantic in a way that's as hopeful as it is tragic. You didn't take the tragic route, and I am glad for it. Your villanelle seems to poke fun at yourself, your words, but without tearing down the meaning behind them. Each section of that part is something to be totally overcome by; that's really lovely. Your use of language is clever in its grandness, even if it did take me a couple tries to figure that out lol.
A smart piece of work, that demands careful reading, and is worth the trouble. I'll read it over and over, and find new things probably every time. Thank you, and good luck with it!
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an exquisite poem that shows inspiring talent! impressive writing, a joy to read and appreciate. you should be very proud of this poem because it is truly lovely!
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Yes the remarkable Fern Hill by Dylan Thomas twined imagery of youth, fertile farms, bustling life and the dreamy conceptions of the world and all; inspire this entry with a well conceived rhyming poem has a voice like Thomas, a full voiced exhortation, defiant soaring words.
The villanelle takes another idea from Thomas, a scale of life where the ideal of children and their innocence, trust and belief are contrasted with the events of life, the seasons, and beginnings and endings that are constant, like atoms spinning in some form of matter, all part of a greater whole. So very imaginative and creative.
And the last set of free verse, winds marvelous imagery an affirmation of the power of belief, faith in the certain courage to try...it is its own reward in life. This is excellent, a fine and imaginative inspiration from Dylan Thomas.
Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK
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