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Did't You See

My dreams are gown my thoughts are to my tears are gown I don’t see why you would lie to me did I not show you I was there did you not see me behind you ready to cache you win you fall did you see I was there to lysine to your pain why was I just a toy did you not see I had feelings to did you rely love me or was it a game to you.

Do u have feeling like this one?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • J. M. Spenser
    July 26

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    This is good stuff. Lots of emotions and pain written here. I would need a little fix up though. But this was good stuff. Keep it up.


  • Angels hero
    July 23

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    Your pain is so fresh, I can feel it as I read it. You must remain strong that is the best way to through it. Keep on writting, you have a wonderful gift.


  • your angers a gift
    July 22

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    Wow! This had alot of emotion in it. Im sorry things are like this for you right now. But you wrote it out in a poetic way that makes whoever is reading to be able to feel your frustration. Great write for sure! The only thing Id change is the spelling. But other than that its great!