A perfect summer's day it was
I took a walk besides the sea.
The surface of the sea's like glass
Dead-calm as far's the eye could see
But if the eye wandered to shore
A different picture it would see.
The sea's alive with many more
Who came to seek the sun, like me
The beach was packed from side to side
With kids at play and youths at sports
And surfers waiting for the tide,
Smoking, chatting around their boards
I paused to watch the rev'lling crowd-
I saw them playing, having fun,
those in the surf who splashed about,
And those on shore basking the sun
The ocean's roar at times was drown'd
When voices, shrilly, scream and shout
Above all this' another sound -
A speedboat's motors' revving loud
But walking on I passed a spot
Less crowded then from whench I came
Some anglers stood with fishing rod
Hunting the ocean's scaly game
The landscape then abrubptly changed
Black rocks jutted out of the sand
And next to it a golden range
Of dunes stretching further inland
I scurried up a little dune
From where I looked out on the sea
I listened to it's simple tune
And never felt my soul so free
Just there beneath the pale-blue sky
I stood alone in pensive mood
Oblivious to the seagull's cry
As it scavenge the beach for food
Far out, where ocean meets the sky,
my eyes picked up a moving dot
Too far to see with naked eye
With field glasses I watched the spot
A dolphin jumped up in the air
And then, another, and one more!
And still a dozen more were there.
I watched the scene in silent awe.
They boisterously played , cajoled
While sunlight glitt'red on their skins
this was no show but their own world
No one has trained them for these scenes
No trainers there to hold out hoops
And give them fish when they were good
And still they jumped in perfect loops
While the wide ocean gives them food.
And I, a single spectator
Took time to silently applaud
A show a thousand times greater
Then what the show biz can afford!
Author notes
5. something to do with mirrors, the ocean/sea, or glass
Written March 26th, 2004
A contest entry
- Paint me a rainbow, I'll paint you the sky (contest) by Diseased Mind.
330 points, ended September 24, 2004, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Amazing. It takes a talented poet to make his reader actually feel the breeze and hear the screams of children, but you, my friend, have done just this. Your writing amazes me. This was wonderful. And so very true. It is sad how we rarely enjoy the natural life around us and believe that we need to go to an enclosed place where beauty is a learned activity. Thank you for sharing this. ~Caitlin
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*Stalkstalk*
Once again, Wow.
You continue to amaze me, and I continue to watch your work almost stalker-esque.
You're amazingly good, what else can I say? -
This is an extremely beautiful write. The ocean is my favourite place in the world, and Cape Town in South Africa is probably the most beautiful place I've ever seen. Seeing as you're also from South Africa, this poem reminded me of the days I myself spent there... It really is wonderful.
Anyway, this is amazing.
Dragonfly -
Abfab!
Can Brad-The-Bard get any better in his writing? This poem is testament to a superhero (of poetry) only discovering recently his powers. -
very cool
oh enjoy i did
the heart is always overwhelmed (hope i spelt that write anyways)The heart is always overwhelmed by the thought
of the ocean thankyou
and hugs and kisses for welcoming me !!
Edited on Apr 18, 6:31 because 'bad spelling'. -
Hey BTB.
I enjoyed your poem, it isn't really a style I'm used to, but I think I can learn to love it. I see your from the EC, funny enough, I'm from the Western Cape! Wierd he?
Anyway, if you'd like a different view on love, you should give one of my poems a try.<----- (Only a suggestion!)
C Ya around ;-D -
Dear Brad: Thank you for your kindness. I grew up on the Romantic poets, my grandmama would read them to me, so I share your enthusiasm. I love your poem of nature's spectacle -- I especially love the live
When voices, shrilly, scream and shout
Above all this' another sound -
A speedboat's motors'
where the alliteration mimics the wind and waves.
Bravo -
I good write that took in the sea and scene – it’s also nice to be reminded that not all beaches are as empty as ours, where we seldom see other people.
There were just a few places where I thought the rhyme was strained a little but over all a good job.
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My mind saw exactly what your eyes saw. Great job! Very very good.
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I'm sorry to be so impatient, I didn't read it all. Sixteen verses about the beach is too much for me. I hope to find that you have done some shorter works, because your language is great.
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Wow, you use so much detail that I felt I was there, I could even hear the ocean and the seagulls. You have so much talent, and I'm not exagerating when I say this, this is the best poem I have ever read. You are an awesome poet, you have a great talent, and I'm so glad you're putting it to good use here. I'd love to chat sometime so if you ever want to, feel free to IM me. I hope to read more from you in the future! Take care and keep up the AWESOME work!
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Incredible
I go to SeaWorld several times a year in San Antonio,
and your poem made me smile. So many times we see
the dolphins and whales jump and twist. Not often
do we get the beauty of seeing them in the open air in their
own surroundings. I guess without places like SeaWorld,
we would not see them at all.
Wonderful poem.
MagicLady
Edited on Mar 26, 7:11 p.m. because ''. -
Great Poem!!I love summer and I love the beach so therefore I loved you poem!
Great Job!
~Nicole -
O my my... its such beautuful poem with smooth flow of rhyming scheme... I thoroughly enjoyed it... thanx for sharing... I love Dolphins as well and have written a poem too...
mina -
I moved the apostrophe. Thanks for pointing that out!
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It's so nice to see a poem with perfect meter held all through! I really felt as though I was there - your images were spot on. What a lovely day... "perfect" as you say!
One point: "Oblivious to the seagulls' cry
As it scavenge the beach for food" - here the first line implies multiple seagulls whereas the second refers to only one. Apart from that small issue of clarity, I can see no improvement!
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good poem
i'd love to live near the sea, i'd be on the beach walking at night. nearest we have here is a puddle
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good
I love the picture it is beautiful... Your words make me feel summer. I like your style too.. Good write and keep up the good work. -
i love this poem, it makes me wish that i was on holidays or i wish that the summer would come around quicker. i suppose i shouldnt wish that the summer would come around quicker because im wishing my life away!!! i absolutely loved the flow of this poem, it seemed to run wild. keep on the good work. it was lovely
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