She has locks of brown.
Although she like to straighten them out.
And I don't know why.
I don't know why.
This along with her soul is what she was born with.
Blonde & cloaked is the color she dyes it.
I don't know what she think she has to hide.
Those big brown eyes...
There were kitten kisses & puppy hugs.
And over time it grew into a deeper love.
God knows I didn't want to give up,
But my heart has had enough...
She was a rock to help stand my ground.
When it comes to love, she doesn't give up, She don't fuck around.
She'll find her guy
Those big brown eyes.
There are things I still can't explain.
She may understand, If I could only articulate.
These thoughts in my mind.
Then we would see eye to eye.
She deserves...
A guy more together than me.
Someone who can give her a family.
I know she will be alright.
She'll be alright.
A guy that can hold true to his word.
A guy she truly deserves.
She'll fulfill her life.
And we will say goodbye...
Goodbye.
A contest entry
- Rhyming prewrites :] by Ami.
550 points, ended August 24, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Epic!
Wow! I totally loved it! Super Epic! Can't wait to read more of urs! -
Really really good, I liked it a lot, i loved the last words, so amazing!
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I'm a fan.
Your writing is damn good, as is the meter. Yeah. Good job.
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Thanks for the Comment
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The beginning grabbed my attention. Only because I'm dying my hair soon
But, that aside, this was a very nicely done write!!!
ej -
Wow... Amazzzzing read. I can feel your emotion and throw in a little of mine. I love it.
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this is very good, it explains to me how you feel in your heart and how you think she feels. it is very thoughtfull and well put together. great jo
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Wooooooooooooooow. This is deep (: love it kid ♥
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You wrote a natural song ...
and one many can relate to. But Poet, love does not compare ... Loving takes the hard road and make it work! None can ever substitute love. Not things and places and spaces. A very wise and precious person just reminded me a while ago that the heart takes one home.
Follow your dream!
Love
Myra
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wow love the emotion that flows through this
your an amazing writer and i look frword to reading more -
this is sad. i like it. its a lil hard to follow at first. but gets easier to understand as it goes. i love this one
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it's sad... and selfless, but I think this sounds like a wonderful song. Although I noticed it's an entry in a rhyming contest... I didn't think the rhyme scheme was that good but the poem itself was great!
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Yeah, it was a prewrite... It is a full song and I entered it into the contest because it was one i put on AP recently... Thanks for the comments.
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cooool
nice and lubby dubby....i wish i can explain those feelings sometimes..........is this a song u wrote? -
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Thanks for the comments... Yeah, it is.... I'll eventually record something and get it on here...
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Wow there's so much emotion in this write and a great flow it was sad but the way you wrote it was amazing
Thank you so much for entering my contest and Good luck
-♥Amy♥ -
Wow
wonderful write full of heart and well written emotion, the flow to it is beautiful... really enjoyed this piece
Thanks for sharing
Zia,
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And what a wonderful song this is my friend, I am very happy that I randomly clicked your name and picked this as my first poem/lyric of yours to read. For I do believe you have a styly I like and with that I will say this onto you my friend.
I like it, I like it so!
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Aww, makes my heart ache. This is very well written, such true and clear emotions.
x Thanks for sharing
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OOOH I LOVE THIS, AND THE LAST VERSE CAUGT IN MY THROAT AND NADE ME ACHE A LITTLE
THIS IS VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL
BRAVO
T
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