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Death of A Rose (Shadow Sonnet)

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Rose blooms fast in hands that nurture the rose

colors bright when the rose changes colors

Pose beautiful rose in picturesque pose

others are nice but you beat the others

~@~

Left alone to stand while the gardner left

dewdrops cascading, all thousand dewdrops

Theft of emotion, stripping her clear is theft

Few stops towards death her heart makes few stops

~@~

Weeping she lets go as life lays weeping

in several hours this flower gives in

Keeping her promise loves not worth keeping

within the darkness passion hides within

~@~

Death consumed her heart and fate gave her death

breath has stilted life, she took her last breath

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When the stem can no longer hold...

you crumble

 

 

Author notes

Shadow Sonnet
The Shadow Sonnet was created by Amera M. Andersen, may be written in any sonnet style.
The Shadow takes place at the beginning and ending of each line as the words are identical or
homophonic. Since all poetry was originally meant to be sung or recited out loud, homophonic
words are acceptable, these are words that sound alike such as “see and sea”. (Rules: 14 lines,
9 or 10 syllables per line. The poem should have a volta or pivit; iambic pentameter is not
necessary.)



Sweet pivit dont you think...the rise of a beautiful rose who is loved for all her beautiful traits in and out...and how life can strip the beauty and cause you to crumble

life is fricken good isnt it... The yellow rose of Texas has finally crumbled..


AND MY ROSES ALWAYS look better then this..but its a battered rose so isnt suppose to perfect..

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 24
    Edit | Reply
    The Yellow rose is too strong and beautiful to finally crumble, and too well loved for the gardener to leave. A sadly beautiful shadow sonnet

    Love

    Jeff


  • Ellis gold member
    July 23
    Edit | Reply

    Very Creative

    This must have been hard to write. You did this awfully well.


  • Griswold silver member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    The gardener who watches and is patient with this precious beauty,
    removing the weeds, allowing room for growth and nourishment, will be the successful one. The bark hardens, the stem stiffens, the thorns grow sharper, the battered petals beautiful in their imperfection. Sight and scent enticing to any within reach. Allowing others to appreciate the beauty for themselves. Yet loving that battered rose more than all the rest, for that is the one most deserving of it. A gardener is called on to tend many flowers, and quite a few weeds. But only stops to admire and love his Yellow Texas Rose. I love you baby... Scott


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    I reall;y love the fele to your poem here and I am also quite impressed with the poem structure and the way you have posted the form as well. any ways I felt from your piece that the stem is the rot to our own lives and that we have to keep a strong core center of our stem to keep our life intact because if we allow mistakes to build up without being corrected then our life will crumble before our eyes. any ways with that being said I really love the beautiful methaphorical imagery you added through out this poem as well and it was just a wonderful poem I happened to click on. any ways very nice and I like the results. keep up the beautiful work as always and thank you for sharin' this with us all. Tiger


  • dejakirkland
    July 21
    Edit | Reply

    Good.

    This is so cool>!COmment monce!


  • Faith Williams
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    awesome poe


  • Aelten
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really interesting form, lots of possibilities! I love the rose shape, so lovely. I really enjoyed reading this, nice pivot.
    Best wishes,
    A~


  • stef-witt gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem... the part that stood out for me -

    "Weeping she lets go as life lays weeping
    in several hours this flower gives in
    Keeping her promise loves not worth keeping
    within the darkness passion hides within"

    It must have been difficult to write within such a strict form - but you managed to convey imagery and strong emotion. Thanks for sharing and congrats on a beautiful write!


  • Bosiarbooger gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply

    Sorrow

    The rose is a beautiful flower strong and true. Too many handlers can harm the delicate balance of anything. One needs to see who won and who lost in any situation. I see only the rose wilting looking around everything else looks sound. Is the gardener fine does his helper look harmed in anyway. You are a beautiful flower stop and look what was done was done for reasons. Begging him not to water the situation the helper did and poof his problem was gone. And the gardener now has his flower all to himself again. Blame the wind boy isn't that easy. You are strong yet tended and from the winds outlook kept enclosed in the greenhouse. I am sorry that the wind can't be harnessed, but the it wouldn't be the wind. Look closely and wonder. Best of luck in everything you do. you are still loved and alweays will be just from the outside of the glass. Love, Rick


    • PassionsPromise gold member
      July 22
      Edit | Reply
      When a gardener goes in and tends the flower, and nurtures it, he should also have a eye and desire on the garden around it. For those blooms held close to it, protect it. It is when the gardener gets carried away thinking his hands are the only ones needed to tend to the rose at hand. When a flower is sick, it is in need of as much TLC as any human would. Indeed, too many can damage, but only if the gardener gets greedy and wants only for himself, the rose, withers and dies. For you allow the air to stop breathing, suffocating. The beauty of life in a rose, is the core of it. Unfortunately it seems, the core has been damaged as well now.

      Stop and look closer? The stem has been planted in soil of lies and deciet since its birth then uprooted and damaged by powerful winds of mankind (I say mankind, abuse is beyond mankind) Now the rose again tossed around by angry hands because the door was left open and the wind struck hard. What a heavy blow it was. She crumbled and her petals grew weak. To the floor she clung. Why can't people get along with other gardeners when the sweet rose is trying to rise out of the darkness she had known for years and past days? Greed. Only one gardener, didn't want to share, he wanted the prize possession to hisself..but you know what, roses and people arent possessions...We can not be plucked and displayed for show and only set for your eyes. If you can not trust in the beauty that you adored then, how can you say you loved it? Allowing other blooms and sweet flowers in her garden shield her, is called sacraficing for love. Its not saying, she doesnt love in return just that, this rose has special needs that allow her to live for now..

      When you strip her eyes and her life from that love and passion of friends around her, you strip the air from her, suffocating her, she wilts..and dies.

      As for looking from the outside of the glass, you put yourself there. You were handling the rose with tenderness, then wanted more. And in doing so, you pushed others away. I hope you are happy, for this rose stands alone. And alone, I face death.

      Passionspromise

      PS You were the gardener helping withthe nurturing...Just too blind to see it.


  • Forever more yours
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    It's so blunt, but like at the same time its true. i can feel the emotions.


  • MinorSolfege
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    An interesting format. It gives the words a certain bluntness, so that the meaning is totally obscured.


  • MJ Forgives
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    It was a good poem. Lately I have been reading like the same thing all the time. Yours was something different. I enjoyed it so much. And I love reading shape poems they are fun to read it. Like I said before I enjoyed it! ^_^


  • individuality gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    it is a good poem but i am not a big fan of shape poetry to be frank - (don't call me frank) and forms i am tiring of, other than my own created ones lol well i have to promote my own work, all this said and done though, it is a good poem

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