Something just beneath the surface

There's something deep inside I can never fill
Something I can't make go away
IT's a void in my being that doesn't exactly fit the bill
Causing me to hurt deep today
On the outside I'm calm and cool
Laughing with the guys so I wouldn't be left alone
Getting good grades in high school
Chatting all night long on my phone
But just below the surface something is changing for bad
A beast that tears at my being even when I leave it to dream
It laments on the things I thought I once had
While others love freely, openly, like a free-flowing stream
I can feel happy for them but something won't let it slide
Despair and pain set deep when it's them and me
A small cancer that taints the lion's pride
I have been alone since that fateful lie
I believed in it so much I turned deeper to a path I was never on
Years go by, they still love one and the same
This is real life, not some fake video game
All this pain I feel is real and not something I claim to be
The same kind of hurt that turns others away from me
The burden is more then I can bear
Only one a true love can share
I need the warmth only they could give
To soak it all up like a sieve
But this monster is forming a barrier between myself and whoever I see
It can't let me just live and walk free
Just one glimpse and it shatters to dust
and separates from the chains, leaving only rust
I need someone who will care for me
I need a lover that'll make my soul free