Never able to show my true self
Every one thinks so highly of me
"A single mom, I don't know how you do it"
Guess what, neither do I
Showing nothing but strength to anyone close
If only they knew how scared I am
It is killing me to act so strong
I act like I don't care what anyone thinks of me
I may not let it affect how I go through each day
But it hurts
Until I get a little buzz, then nothing hurts
Such a tough, bullshit exterior
I am sure most people see through it
But if I do not acknowledge it, then it doesn't matter
Author notes
picture by drainoutmylungs on deviantart
Silver trophy in SpankMeBaby's contest allpoetry.com/Contest/572424
Written March 25th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- open to anything...BUT...No suicide.... or self injury by SpankMeBaby.
300 points, ended April 13, 2004, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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I really love your raw honesty of showing what it is like being a single parent, i respect my Mom so much for raising five of us when dad died and still don,t know how she managed to do it and work at the same time...(well, a son who had to learn repsonisibility by the age of eight helped her, but she still worked her hardest to keep our family together. Very difficult topic, but you managed to pen the reality of it.
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wow.... this is magnificent.. i really loved this poem, this story of your life, i can onle imagine what it is like..... wow... great job, thank you for entering good luck!
*-*Rae*-* -
wow.... this is magnificent.. i really loved this poem, this story of your life, i can onle imagine what it is like..... wow... great job, thank you for entering good luck!
*-*Rae*-* -
Wow, this seems like exactally what my mother would write (if she did write). Shes a single mother, and life has been hard on her. And it seems to me, the only things that make her happy are me, beer, and cigs. People do say some harsh things, but you gatta learn to ignore it (or atleast try). It might be hard, but one day it'll all be over, and you have to worry, never more.. Great write, you are very talented!
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Thats true. I hate when our bullshit society makes people have to be like that. That they cant show their true selves because of this pussy shit we have to deal with day in day out.
I say screw soceity...they arent any better...just animals. Be who you are and nothing less.
-J.
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It is very hard. It is nice that your wife has you to try to help her let go every once in a while. Thank you very much for your kind comment
take care
~whisper -
This was nice whisper, and the pics you use are terrific. I used to tease my wife about never relaxing and just letting her guard down for a little while. When you've been on the defensive all your life, it's hard to change, cause you don't want to show your weaknesses. I'm sure plenty of people can relate to this work of yours. Nice job.
Thanks for your comments also,
John -
know how it is to hide behind an exterior, and to think that if you can fool the world into thinkign that your someone or somehting, maybe you can becoem that person... yet this is such a brillint poem that can be easily related to, yet also shows personal anguish. Very cleverly written.
brilliant.
xxx
my favourite bit was "Never able to show my true self
Every one thinks so highly of me
"A single mom, I don't know how you do it"
Guess what, neither do I
Showing nothing but strength to anyone close
If only they knew how scared I am
It is killing me to act so strong
I act like I don't care what anyone thinks of me
I may not let it affect how I go through each day
But it hurts
Until I get a little buzz, then nothing hurts" keep writingxxxx
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This is an amazing write.I don't know what it's like to be a single parent or even a parent me being thirteen and all. But I know what its like...sortof from my mom's point of view.See my step-dad(or my dad) is a truck driver and is like never home so she is basiclly a single parent and people are always saying "I don't know how you do it" and I know its hard on my mom because My bro has autism and ppd(Perswaisive develepment disorder) and that makes i hard on her expesailly when hes out of control well...You have my blessings.
-Keep the faith-
-Howwy -
oh this is so amazing. i know that all single mothers will really appreciate this poem because it will show them that they don't always have to put up that strong front. awesome job
-braeden -
To thine own self be true...
You know... I have no idea what it means and what it feels to be a single parent... of course, I might when I have kids of my own, but until then... I just can't imagine how strong you have to be to deal with everything in your life while taking care of a child... and appearing strong to your child to show that life is easier to cope with when you're crying inside... very powerful write, here. I enjoyed this so much... I don't think I should even enter this, because my weaknesses and such are trivial compared to what you have here... -
This makes me want to cry... Especially now. I'm a mom of one (6 yr old) and his dad and I (my fiance) are currently at this point in our lives, that we're sick of eachother, but still holding on. And we don't know what to do, because we're both scared. So.. this was like a quick glance at what may come. If it happens (and I become a single parent) I'll come to talk to you.. Great write
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Wow! Yea, I've got one of those too... everyone always thinks I'm perfect... and it's too hard to live up to... makes you want to die. Oh this was so beautiful- I do admire you for what you've done with your life... are you really a single mom? Wow... This was a very strong piece... very intense... GREAT WRITE!
Trin
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I know how it feels to keep up a facade. I try to convince myself that I don't care what other people think of me but I do. When someone says something really nasty, I just kind of let it roll off my back at first, then it really sinks in later. I'm having a hard time being strong myself - then again you know all about that...I don't want anyone to see my tears dammit! I hate feeling vulnerable...you did such a beautiful job hon...I feel your pain (I know it sounds cheesy but it's true) through your words. Keep it up
(oh and so he doesn't like it...eh you can't please everyone lol)...good luck in the contest!
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Interesting poem, It was extremely emotional and discriptive. I know the feeling of hiding though I am not a mother, let alone a single mother. Great write, keep it up
PLUR -
great poem i can feel your emotions,this should be lyrics theway it sounds
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Powerful Brought back memories.
I am brand new to this site. I am 52 the last day of April. What you wrote brought back so much. Hang in there. At some point in your life, as do I...you can look back on this and know you did your best. Then you can start working on the rest, as did I. Powerful write Whisper. -
really expressing
i like this poem a lot my mom has recently gotten gotten separated from my father and they are getting divorced i think she feels like she has to be really strong and not let nething get to her i know that she is really hurting right now cuz i can see it in her eyes and it hurts me to know she feels this way. i can see my mom is close to having an emotional breakdown and i dont know if i can take it i feel the need to be strong in my family. my mom recently lost her mother in a car accident and her friend from an accidental overdose and now my dad has cheated on her and wants out of the marriage. its hard on all of us but i feel we are all trying to be strong for everyone else's sake and not for our own....but neways im rambling way to much. yea, i tihnk this is a really good poem really expressing -
I know how it is to hide behind an exterior, and to think that if you can fool the world into thinkign that your someone or somehting, maybe you can becoem that person... yet this is such a brillint poem that can be easily related to, yet also shows personal anguish. Very cleverly written.
brilliant.
xxx
Scarlet -
fantastic write. my I know a lot of single mothers and I'm telling them all to read this
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::claps:: No contractions! ^^ Absolutely awesome job with this poem. All of yours are so interesting to read! Keep on going great! ^^
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Ouch... this one hits hard. The mind of someone some people admire and others glare at, both for the same thing... this is powerfully expressed, I can feel your pain, and yet, your longing to be as proud of yourself as others are of you...
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OMG GREAT!!!
woah...that is touching and great. i comend you on your efforts to stay strong all while being a single parent i know that it must be hard for you. where is it in KY that you live cause i might know that place seeing as how i live in KY too?? -
i like this, like you said unique is great, its good u can express yourself in a way like this
jade xXx -
truth-rific
laughs for a moment at 'guess what neither do I' I can just see it happening in my head...anyways. Its hard to show our true selves and brava for being able to do so in such beautiful words! If you eminate toughness then you must have some somewhere right? I understand what you are saying though, but you are strong, I know it
Peace and love
Susan
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Wonderful
I believe this is ME
But I didn't write it
Did you write it for ME?
I have a daughter with special needs
and I have to be so strong.
But I am not.
They think I am .......
And I hate that.
MagicLady -
Yeah , lots of emotion..an honest poem.. especially the lines about how when you get a buzz nothign hurts...i have to agree. Youd be suprised how many people dont see right through your exterior. People see me as a "strong" person, but i am the weakest of them all...
its kind of ironic....thats life...hang in there.
-Isa -
Very deep. On some level I know where you're coming from. Its hard to put on a front you hate maintaining;making people believe something you're not.
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this is really good! i love how you did the italics every other group of lines...it really adds to it! this poem is great...true emotions and i love it. amazing write!
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soft and gentle my ass..... lol thank you
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wow, this is really good sis...dealing with the truth about yourself is hard, but i guess it's worth it...i really like how you have sort of revealed the real you, so soft and gentle.
thanks for sharing this, i know it was probably hard to write, keep it up...
love you
-Stacy-
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